Quote Originally Posted by WES View Post
YOU MUST

1) go to the pub at some point
2) not eat until after listening to Her Maj
3) open presents before you have Christmas breakfast
4) have smoked salmon and some form of a pig as part of your breakfast
5) fall asleep on the couch with a drink in your hand and the kitchen an utter mess

Anything else?
You're not the boss of me.

By chance you have approached civilised behaviour in two areas:

Presents must be opened before breakfast. What soret of weird ascetic Protestantism are you suffering from if you make people wait for their presents?

Breakfast is smoked salmon scrambled eggs. With coriander for decent folk.

Otherwise you're all over the place there.