School DinnersWimb. What was the typical menu when you were at school?

[Ash]

I'd have killed for proper instant mash. It did at least taste of something - not potatoes, of course - but something. No, school dinners had the weird knack of forming mash into dense, odd-smelling balls that didn't really taste of anything at all.

It's the gristly, sub-Tyne brand mince that haunts my nightmares. Occasionally they'd throw a bit of crappy, lard-laden pastry on top of it and call it a pie.

Sausage and mash was a good day. Crappy, catering pack sausages and the aforementioned mash, but at least they'd throw gravy over it. A bad day was a piece of liver you could sole your show with accompanied by tinned boiled potatoes.

Fridays at least you got fish and chips. Weird fish and shÃ*t, cold chips, but still.

I would have preferred food that tasted of nothing. It would be easier to eat than vegetables tasting of smelly socks and the fruit in the crumble tasting of the inside of an electric razor. Not sure how they managed that.

There were some good days. Sometimes we'd get an edible pasty and we'd punch a hole in the top, fill it gravy, then squash it down. Volcano!