School DinnersWimb. What was the typical menu when you were at school?

[Pat Vegas]

I remember horrid fish fingers,
Lumpy mash with green bits in it.
Liver
Beans on toast but only for the Asian lads

Deserts
custard
Some sort of special biscuit, this was introduced a little bit later, a bit like shortbread/rusk combination with a carton of milk with a lightning bolt on it. This came in after they ditched the milk in the morning. Smelly milk with those horrid foil tops In hotter months tasted like yoghurt. In a blue crate with milk all over it.

[Ash]

I remember horrid fish fingers,
Lumpy mash with green bits in it.
Liver
Beans on toast but only for the Asian lads

Deserts
custard
Some sort of special biscuit, this was introduced a little bit later, a bit like shortbread/rusk combination with a carton of milk with a lightning bolt on it. This came in after they ditched the milk in the morning. Smelly milk with those horrid foil tops In hotter months tasted like yogurt. In a blue crate with milk all over it.

Lumpy mash? Luxury! At least there was some evidence that it was made with potatoes. The mash I had was instant mash hydrated with dishwater and sour milk ISTR. Utterly foul.

Cabbage boiled to death in dishwater.

All other vegetables boiled to death in dishwater.

Liver. Kidneys. Mushrooms

And until age 12 I had to eat it all.

[Pat Vegas]

Lumpy mash? Luxury! At least there was some evidence that it was made with potatoes. The mash I had was instant mash hydrated with dishwater and sour milk ISTR. Utterly foul.

Cabbage boiled to death in dishwater.

All other vegetables boiled to death in dishwater.

Liver. Kidneys. Mushrooms

And until age 12 I had to eat it all.

They wouldn't let us leave until we eat everything.
The fish fingers I had were so bad I hid them in the metal jug of water we had on the table.

[Burney]

They wouldn't let us leave until we eat everything.
The fish fingers I had were so bad I hid them in the metal jug of water we had on the table.

Fishfingers were fine! I mean they were the worst fishfingers you'd ever eat, lacked any structural integrity and tended to fall apart, of course, but they were at least fishfingers and - as such - a relative treat.

[Pat Vegas]

Fishfingers were fine! I mean they were the worst fishfingers you'd ever eat, lacked any structural integrity and tended to fall apart, of course, but they were at least fishfingers and - as such - a relative treat.

Until recently I wouldn't ever eat them, They seemed sweaty.

I don't think school dinners were the problem when they were looking at the obesity problem, We all eat this crap and you'd only get 1 or 2 fat kids per class.
In secondary school we had an ice cream van in the playground that sold hotdogs and burgers. Or we'd go to the cafe or McDonalds again we were not all fatso. I used to be skinny like rake until I was about 23.

[Burney]

Until recently I wouldn't ever eat them, They seemed sweaty.

I don't think school dinners were the problem when they were looking at the obesity problem, We all eat this crap and you'd only get 1 or 2 fat kids per class.
In secondary school we had an ice cream van in the playground that sold hotdogs and burgers. Or we'd go to the cafe or McDonalds again we were not all fatso. I used to be skinny like rake until I was about 23.

Oh, no. Whatever else you can say about the school dinners, they were nutritionally balanced and no-one was going to be malnourished or obese because of them. The problem has arisen since children were given choice over what they eat at school as - surprise, surprise - they all chose chips and sweet crap. I can think of few more idiotic ideas than giving a child choice over what it eats. Sadly you now have a generation of kids growing up whose parents eat nothing but shít either, so the cycle continues.

[Burney]

Lumpy mash? Luxury! At least there was some evidence that it was made with potatoes. The mash I had was instant mash hydrated with dishwater and sour milk ISTR. Utterly foul.

Cabbage boiled to death in dishwater.

All other vegetables boiled to death in dishwater.

Liver. Kidneys. Mushrooms

And until age 12 I had to eat it all.

I'd have killed for proper instant mash. It did at least taste of something - not potatoes, of course - but something. No, school dinners had the weird knack of forming mash into dense, odd-smelling balls that didn't really taste of anything at all.

It's the gristly, sub-Tyne brand mince that haunts my nightmares. Occasionally they'd throw a bit of crappy, lard-laden pastry on top of it and call it a pie.

Sausage and mash was a good day. Crappy, catering pack sausages and the aforementioned mash, but at least they'd throw gravy over it. A bad day was a piece of liver you could sole your show with accompanied by tinned boiled potatoes.

Fridays at least you got fish and chips. Weird fish and shít, cold chips, but still.

[Ash]

I'd have killed for proper instant mash. It did at least taste of something - not potatoes, of course - but something. No, school dinners had the weird knack of forming mash into dense, odd-smelling balls that didn't really taste of anything at all.

It's the gristly, sub-Tyne brand mince that haunts my nightmares. Occasionally they'd throw a bit of crappy, lard-laden pastry on top of it and call it a pie.

Sausage and mash was a good day. Crappy, catering pack sausages and the aforementioned mash, but at least they'd throw gravy over it. A bad day was a piece of liver you could sole your show with accompanied by tinned boiled potatoes.

Fridays at least you got fish and chips. Weird fish and shít, cold chips, but still.

I would have preferred food that tasted of nothing. It would be easier to eat than vegetables tasting of smelly socks and the fruit in the crumble tasting of the inside of an electric razor. Not sure how they managed that.

There were some good days. Sometimes we'd get an edible pasty and we'd punch a hole in the top, fill it gravy, then squash it down. Volcano!

[Burney]

I would have preferred food that tasted of nothing. It would be easier to eat than vegetables tasting of smelly socks and the fruit in the crumble tasting of the inside of an electric razor. Not sure how they managed that.

There were some good days. Sometimes we'd get an edible pasty and we'd punch a hole in the top, fill it gravy, then squash it down. Volcano!

Oh, I could never distinguish between the puddings. They were mostly essentially custard-based and what the semi-solid matter under the custard was I found it best not to ask. Apart from semolina and tapioca, of course, whose sole concession to dessert status seemed to be a dollop of jam lurking in the middle with all the ameliorative effect of a pound coin in a pile of dogshít.

[Sir C]

I remember horrid fish fingers,
Lumpy mash with green bits in it.
Liver
Beans on toast but only for the Asian lads

Deserts
custard
Some sort of special biscuit, this was introduced a little bit later, a bit like shortbread/rusk combination with a carton of milk with a lightning bolt on it. This came in after they ditched the milk in the morning. Smelly milk with those horrid foil tops In hotter months tasted like yoghurt. In a blue crate with milk all over it.

A typical day might start with Tranche de foie gras poelé avec son pain d'epice, followed by a brace of fowls, a dish of chops, Sole bonne femme, Iles flottantes and a cheeseboard.

Of course one was always revolted by the British habit of serving the cheese after the dessert, but there you have it. Needs must.