Along with a bacon and avocado sandwich and chips.
The odds that Friday afternoon doesn't involve a visit to the couch? Precisely f*cking zero.
Afternoon naps on the couch post pub lunch :cloud9:
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Along with a bacon and avocado sandwich and chips.
The odds that Friday afternoon doesn't involve a visit to the couch? Precisely f*cking zero.
Afternoon naps on the couch post pub lunch :cloud9:
Bacon and avocado? What sort of boozer is this?Quote:
Originally Posted by World's End Stella
Avocado? Bender!Quote:
Originally Posted by World's End Stella
Been self-employed for the past couple of months. Went to the cinema yesterday at 10am and had the whole place to myself :cloud9:Quote:
Originally Posted by World's End Stella
Not been to the pub yet. That seems rather indulgent.
If I remember correctly his local village boozer does serve very nice grub... it was about 15 yrs ago since i went there though (it's in Surrey so not a "proper" boozer)Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
:nod: Possibly the only food gayer than courgette and kiwi fruit.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
How was your chinky?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Jamavar in Mayfair for me tonight.
Bit meh, tbh.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
Owned by the Leela Palace group, I see. I've stayed in a few in India. Quite tremendously vulgar. You might be in for gilding and flock wallpaper.
Going to the cinema alone makes you a pervert, I'm afraid. I don't make the rules. :shrug:Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
A couple of pints one one's own while doing the crossword, however, is exactly what a proper chap ought to be doing of a lunchtime.
Only acceptable in guacamole form, I'm afraid.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
Yes, I'm expecting vulgarity, but it's a special occasion as the missus has finished her maternity leave so a dash of kitsch is called for.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
I have flowers and chocolates waiting for her at home too.
I reckon I've raised my chances of getting laid this weekend by at least 5%.
It's 2017, Burney, time to move on. My local is positively old skool compared to most pubs nowadays, not a veloute, purée or foam anywhere in sight.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
The lad had gammon on white bread with lashings of Coleman's mustard, if that helps. Proof below:
http://www.redlionshamleygreen.com
:nod: Like Morse.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Hold on: a bit crotchety, real ale enthusiast, a tendency to didacticism? That's why you don't like Morse, man! The pair of you were separated at birth for fúcks sake!
Please accept my best wishes for you both in this endeavour.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
Make sure you don't make another baby happen though.
Oh, I know the place. But avocado is unacceptable, I'm afraid. It's a foodstuff that ought only to be consumed by middle-class women, bufties and Mexicans. It certainly has no place alongside God's honest bacon.Quote:
Originally Posted by World's End Stella
Good luck, m. You're probably a bit rusty, I imagine. Can you remember how it all works? Do you want us to talk you through things?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
I don't have a limp. :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
:-( I'm hoping muscle memory will kick in.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Well try not to blow your load too soon. :-( At least try make sure you actually get it into her, first.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
That's the one... been there a couiple of times with some of my ex's friends.... bought a place in your village after appearing on Location, location,locationQuote:
Originally Posted by World's End Stella
I've been reliably informed that stamina is the last thing a permanently knackered new mum wants from her sexual partner :-\Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Oh. Oh, dear. I can only too easily imagine the circumstances in which she told you that. :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
Just after she came home after being shagged by her new bloke imoQuote:
Originally Posted by Burney
Has her, you know, thingy recovered from the trauma of exuding a fully formed human being? :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty92
How does anyone manage to do any work after three pints at lunchtime?Quote:
Originally Posted by World's End Stella
Regardless of all that dogmatic nonsense, bacon and avocado tastes really good, Burney. And even with avocado on the menu my local is still a proper boozer.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
The couch awaits.
I don't :shrug:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash
WHY DOES THE BAD MAN SAY SUCH THINGS, SIR C?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
I might have to start drinking now
How does anyone get anything done with three pints at lunchtime?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash
On this topic, Mrs WES has delivered two of said things and I can assure you, Charles, that her front bottom is fully up to scratch.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Evolution has made them quite recoverable in that regard.
Probably Spitfire or other weak shÃ*t.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash
The leafs might make the playoffs :cloud9:Quote:
Originally Posted by World's End Stella
Though I can't help but feel they are a bit like the Tottenham Hotspur of the NHL.
I think it's far more enjoyable on your own.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
For starters i don't have to keep telling my wife to be quiet.
Yes, but remember, he's only got a teeny weeny winkie.Quote:
Originally Posted by World's End Stella
It'll be a miracle if he touches the sides.
Have some more livercheese. That's what you need.Quote:
Originally Posted by Luis Anaconda
Atlantic - from some brewery in some ****hole called Cornwall :-)Quote:
Originally Posted by 71 Guns - channeling the spirit of Mr Hat
I feel much the same about sex these days, to be honest.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pat Vegas
They really do have zero aesthetic sensibility when it comes to language, your krauts, don't they? Livercheese, ffs!Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Oh I say. What a very good choice sirrah. Lovely stuff. Bastárd. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by World's End Stella
Oh god yes - ridicules language, b. I was being taught Bavarian last night -jesus weptQuote:
Originally Posted by Burney