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It's in a conference hotel near Gatwick. There will be dried out chicken breast. There will be a z list TV presenter to hand out the cráppy awards. There will be a Monopoly money casino.
There will be banter.
How many bad life decisions must have I have made that I still need to do this shĂ*t?
I like observing the floor manager at these events. They can be quite rhythmical when pointing to the waiters where to put the dishes out. lot's of pointing and spinning.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
I haven't had to go to one of those for ages. I must be due one soon. :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
I went to a Food and Drink awards once when I was working in hotels.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
we had a photo with Jean Christophe Novelli and I proceeded to knock over a bunch of lighting off the stage :-(
The worst bit is the people I'm going with. A bunch of lads who appear to think that's it's still 1973. Rampant racism, sexism and homophobia are de rigeuer, the extent of which repulses even my somewhat robust sensibilities :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
There will be Sambucca shots. I guarantee it.
Tomorrow I will drive home trying not to puke. This is no way for an adult to make a living.
Sir C once had a cooking lesson with him. He came back with insane ideas about putting vanilla in tomato sauces and I've consequently viewed Novelli with deep suspicion ever since.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pat Vegas
Are these the chaps with whom you normally go to the darts?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Lord no, they're a great bunch of lads; we go to the darts ironically.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
No, these are chaps from a major EU-based motor manufacturer which appears to have a similar culture to that of British Leyland.
:hehe: Maybe Jim Davidson will be the celeb?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
I spent all of that day basically pressed up against him. Every time he asked a question I was in there like a shot. At one point he asked everyone to taste a sauce and demanded to know the missing final ingredient; when I went to answer he held up his hand and said, 'I know you know, but I wonder if anyone else does?'Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
They didn't. It was lemon. He beamed at me because I hadn't let him down and I almost passed out with pleasure.
I had lunch with one of them last week and we both noted an extremely attractive young lady walk past our table.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
His opening gambit? "Let's rape her and then kill her."
I shĂ*t you not.
:cloud9: he will be the future Prime Minister.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
So you were a class swot? :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Wow. There's nowhere you can go with that beyond nervous laughter, is there?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir C
Unless you bagsy first dibs, I suppose.
I wish it were that dignified. I was an unashamed teacher's pet/fanboy :-(Quote:
Originally Posted by Burney
It was sickening.
:-( Your friend will have his driving ban doubledQuote:
Originally Posted by Sir C