I'm all roided out from eating an egg and sausage breakfast here in London.

[eastgermanautos]

Avoid Gaucho as if it were a syphilitic dog. For steaks, you'll be wanting Hawksmoor or Goodman.

Nobu shot its bolt 10 years ago. You must NOT be seen dead in such a place, for fear of being taken for a tourist. For modern oriental, it's Hakkasan or get to fúck.

This is indeed valuable advice which I will follow to the letter.

[Burney]

That is not a breakfast you filthy American ****er.

He's put...mustard on it, sw. And not even proper mustard. Gay, Yanqui mustard.

[eastgermanautos]

Sweet Georgia Brown! What manner of sausage is that?! Those look like...frankfurters? What of the great British banger, ega?

No, of course! Although, for your information, that looks like a German sausage, which can be good in the appropriate setting. However, no, I did bangers. At least I think they were.

[Burney]

Who did this ega? In the name of God, who served you that? Scum like this who prey on poor, benighjted foreigners deserve whipping.

It looks like the sort of thing a German might eat, ffs!

[Sir C]

He's put...mustard on it, sw. And not even proper mustard. Gay, Yanqui mustard.

Now thon yellow Yankee 'mustard' has its place on a Bockwurst with plenty of onions, I think we can agree on that?

But such a thing at breakfast time? This world makes me sick, b. And not in the good way.

[eastgermanautos]

Who did this ega? In the name of God, who served you that? Scum like this who prey on poor, benighjted foreigners deserve whipping.

I will give you their address, that justice may be visited upon them.

[Sir C]

In respect of the pudding I can take and leave it. I had the world famous Clonakilty Black Pudding while in Cork last week and it repeated on me all day. Pleasant at the time, less so at 4pm.

Worcestershire sauce at breakfast is uncalled for other than in a beverage, and I am as open minded and liberal in this respect as the next man. In essence you're a borderline pervert.

No Worcestershire sauce? No white pudding?

I'll be keeping an eye on you, sw.

[Burney]

No, of course! Although, for your information, that looks like a German sausage, which can be good in the appropriate setting. However, no, I did bangers. At least I think they were.

You need tell me nothing of the German sausage, ega. The German sausage is a fine thing. But not for breakfast.

This would have been a more appropriate photograph

beefsummersausage6.jpg

[eastgermanautos]

Now thon yellow Yankee 'mustard' has its place on a Bockwurst with plenty of onions, I think we can agree on that?

But such a thing at breakfast time? This world makes me sick, b. And not in the good way.

Exactly, thank you. American mustard, as you call it, definitely has a place. People can get too fussy with their dijon and all this stuff. No, I want the *yellow. Right?

[Sir C]

Exactly, thank you. American mustard, as you call it, definitely has a place. People can get too fussy with their dijon and all this stuff. No, I want the *yellow. Right?

Well, on those occasions one is enjoying the dubious delights of the so-called 'hot dog', then yes, it has its place. Of course these occasions are rare and generally one likes to keep them strictly private. It's like feeling little girls' bicycle seats, we all do it from time to time, but we don't shout about it.