Have we signed anyone yet?

[Burney]

and we're handing him back for a season, no doubt will get some career ending injury at the end of next season

Are we!? How utterly ridiculous. This great team in charge of singeing people we're supposed to have seems to be a gaggle of fúckwits.

[Rich]

We're supposed to be singeing this Saliba chap from St Etienne. He's a centre half, I think. Mind you, he's only 18 and everyone knows that's too young to be a proper centre back.

His medical is tomorrow but we are loaning him back to St Etienne for this coming season. Cahill available on a free, though. We also have Rob Holding returning from injury.

[Burney]

His medical is tomorrow but we are loaning him back to St Etienne for this coming season. Cahill available on a free, though. We also have Rob Holding returning from injury.

Well that seems an entirely sensible thing for a side that desperately needs centre halves to do, doesn't it?

EMERY OUT!

[Rich]

Well that seems an entirely sensible thing for a side that desperately needs centre halves to do, doesn't it?

EMERY OUT!

We have Sokratis, Mustafi, Holding, Koscielney. Xhaka/Elneny could probably do a job there as well, if required. There must also be some youth players that can play there.

[Sir C]

Brazilian forward/winger, 18. Martinelli, he really does look very good, Joe Willock was also excellent. Maybe the yoof will live up to the pre-season hype, for once.

Nothing good ever came of signing a Brazilian forward

[Burney]

We have Sokratis, Mustafi, Holding, Koscielney. Xhaka/Elneny could probably do a job there as well, if required. There must also be some youth players that can play there.

So that's one functioning centre half and a chap coming back from serious injury. The rest are, variously, too old, too shít or too not actually centre halves.

Like I said, we desperately need centre halves.

[Burney]

Nothing good ever came of signing a Brazilian forward

Wise words. The only one I can think of who did alright in this country was Juninho.

[PSRB]

We have Sokratis, Mustafi, Holding, Koscielney. Xhaka/Elneny could probably do a job there as well, if required. There must also be some youth players that can play there.

Mavropanos, as well....or is he still injured?

[Rich]

So that's one functioning centre half and a chap coming back from serious injury. The rest are, variously, too old, too shít or too not actually centre halves.

Like I said, we desperately need centre halves.

Oh, and club captain Laurent Koscielney refused to go on tour with the team and will allegedly refuse to play for The Arsenal. He is consulting lawyers about buying his own contract out.

[Rich]

Mavropanos, as well....or is he still injured?

He's been fit since Feb but apparently not rated by the new regime.