Chelsea seem to be ****ing about re: Giroud.

[Sir C]

Show me a man who claims to have never pished in a wardrobe or other piece of bedroom furniture and I shall show you a liar.

My wife recently awoke in the night to find me staggering out of our hotel room, bóllocks naked, confused as to why the bathroom had become so large and apparently lacked a toilet.

[Burney]

Yes - you're Cliff Richard example was a better explanation (though I might have gone with Colin Cowdrey). But I wouldn't have a problem with, say Chinese-speaking person bought up in a Chinatown in a furrin city claiming to be Chinese. I think just saying you're born somewhere so you are nationality is too simplistic. Americans are ****ing ridiculous though - that's true

An interesting double standard operates here, though. If a white person of English extraction grows up and spends their entire life in say China, Japan or India, we would almost never be happy to call them Chinese, Japanese or Indian, would we? And neither, I suspect would the locals.

So to an extent, one's nationality depends also on the extent to which the people of your host nation are prepared to accept you as being of their nationality.

[Sir C]

I think someone on here established that Sir C is a mongrel

Yes, but I identify as a pedigree poodle, so bálls to you.

[Burney]

My wife recently awoke in the night to find me staggering out of our hotel room, bóllocks naked, confused as to why the bathroom had become so large and apparently lacked a toilet.

You haven't even the excuse of being pïssed anymore.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

SirC - "My wife recently awoke in the night to find me staggering out of our hotel room, bóllocks naked, confused as to why the bathroom had become so large and apparently lacked a toilet. "

Just as the upperty Irishers were walking down the corridor

[Burney]

Show me a man who claims to have never pished in a wardrobe or other piece of bedroom furniture and I shall show you a liar.

I once woke up in a hotel somewhere in Yorkshire (I forget where) to discover that I had woken, drunk in the night, walked to the centre of the room and pissed on the carpet.

[Sir C]

You haven't even the excuse of being pïssed anymore.

Oh I was píssed ok. My word, how píssed I was.

Tonight is the first night back on the booze-free regime. I'm going to limit it to Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. I feel that's reasonable.

[Burney]

Oh I was píssed ok. My word, how píssed I was.

Tonight is the first night back on the booze-free regime. I'm going to limit it to Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. I feel that's reasonable.

Glad to hear it. Now what might have been a tragic story of senescent decline is transformed into an uplifting tale of drunken roistering.

[Sir C]

I once woke up in a hotel somewhere in Yorkshire (I forget where) to discover that I had woken, drunk in the night, walked to the centre of the room and pissed on the carpet.

#irish

Imagine the smell

[Burney]

#irish

Imagine the smell

At least I got out of bed

Odd thing was, there wasn't much of a smell. It was almost pure water from what I could make out.