I feel sick. Was walking down to Clerkenwell from Angel last night and a dog ran past

[Monty92]

me followed by a fat lad screaming “Eleanor, please! Come back! Someone grab the dog!”

I gave chase for about 10 minutes but she got away from us. She thought it was a game so just kept stopping, waiting for us to catch up and then run away again. The bloke was mortified. Said it wasn’t even his dog. Imagine having to tell the owner?

I can only hope someone will pick her up and take her to a pound or something, assuming she didn't meet a grisly end underneath a hipster's unicycle.

On another note, I am definitely very unfit. I had to use my mate's asthma inhaler and I don't even have asthma

[Pat Vegas]

me followed by a fat lad screaming “Eleanor, please! Come back! Someone grab the dog!”

I gave chase for about 10 minutes but she got away from us. She thought it was a game so just kept stopping, waiting for us to catch up and then run away again. The bloke was mortified. Said it wasn’t even his dog. Imagine having to tell the owner?

I can only hope someone will pick her up and take her to a pound or something, assuming she didn't meet a grisly end underneath a hipster's unicycle.

On another note, I am definitely very unfit. I had to use my mate's asthma inhaler and I don't even have asthma

What's happened monty? You were a fine specimen when I met you at the 5-a-side.
Though that was a while ago.

[Burney]

I had to use my mate's asthma inhaler and I don't even have asthma

Some stereotypically Jewish hypochondria, there.

What sort of cünt calls a dog Eleanor, anyway?

[Monty92]

What's happened monty? You were a fine specimen when I met you at the 5-a-side.
Though that was a while ago.

Kids, work, hernia, Uber.

[Pat Vegas]

Kids, work, hernia, Uber.

I never really used Uber much here. I had a look and it didn't seem that cheaper than a minicab.

Used in LA though it was great.

[Sir C]

me followed by a fat lad screaming “Eleanor, please! Come back! Someone grab the dog!”

I gave chase for about 10 minutes but she got away from us. She thought it was a game so just kept stopping, waiting for us to catch up and then run away again. The bloke was mortified. Said it wasn’t even his dog. Imagine having to tell the owner?

I can only hope someone will pick her up and take her to a pound or something, assuming she didn't meet a grisly end underneath a hipster's unicycle.

On another note, I am definitely very unfit. I had to use my mate's asthma inhaler and I don't even have asthma

It seems odd to have a pet dog when you live in a city. Dogs don't want to be in cities, they are animals of the plains, the forests and the mountains.

Sometimes humanity's cruelties make me weep.

[Monty92]

Some stereotypically Jewish hypochondria, there.

What sort of cünt calls a dog Eleanor, anyway?

It wasn't hypochondria, I literally couldn't breath, Jeff! The inhaler was a life saver. Couple of puffs and I was right as rain and back on to the beers*

*one bottle of Asahi

[Burney]

I never really used Uber much here. I had a look and it didn't seem that cheaper than a minicab.

Used in LA though it was great.

I got the app only to realise that there are absolutely no Uber drivers anywhere near where I live. Because I live in the country.

The other day, the local police kept tweeting about trying to catch poachers, ffs!

[Pat Vegas]

It wasn't hypochondria, I literally couldn't breath, Jeff! The inhaler was a life saver. Couple of puffs and I was right as rain and back on to the beers*

*one bottle of Asahi

I am so out of shape I saw those Barclays adverts with the old folks playing walking football and thought that would be fun.

I am 34 for **** sake

[Ash]

I never really used Uber much here. I had a look and it didn't seem that cheaper than a minicab.

Used in LA though it was great.

I saw a sticker the other day saying Uber was responsible for over 3,000 rapes and sexual assaults. I wondered whether this was true or propaganda from the union of black cab drivers.