I've had a tradesman in my house putting in a new bathroom for two weeks now.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

With Sir C , I sense that his soul is so tortured, he'll never get a moments peace even after they've switched the machine off and will continue fretting throughout eternity

[Burney]

With Sir C , I sense that his soul is so tortured, he'll never get a moments peace even after they've switched the machine off and will continue fretting throughout eternity

Oh, you don't buy all that 'tortured soul' bit, do you? He only puts that on to look deep and pull the birds.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Never trust a man who smiles all the time
There's something wrong with them
e.g. Richard Branson

[Viva Prat Vegas]

Have you had to actually talk to this tradesman and converse in his own language ?

i.e. "Awright ma'e ? Ow's i' 'angin' ? "

[Burney]

Have you had to actually talk to this tradesman and converse in his own language ?

i.e. "Awright ma'e ? Ow's i' 'angin' ? "

I've said hello. And at one point he asked about my cider factory. He told me some story about having made beetroot wine and getting 'properly fùcked' on it.

[7sisters]

This has been another cause of major expenditure lately. The arseholes who lived there before covered everything in woodchip. I feared this might be because the walls were iffy, but no. The walls were fine. These cùnts just liked woodchip if you can fùcking believe it. They need locking up.

One of the first places I moved into had that, paint it on artex in every room. This was impossible to remove, so I had to have all of the walls re skimmed with plaster.. C*nts !

[Viva Prat Vegas]

One presumes your exterior visage was at complete odds with your inner thoughts at that moment

[Burney]

One presumes your exterior visage was at complete odds with your inner thoughts at that moment

I was trying not to think about him using my lavatory, to be honest.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

"I've Christened the crapper for ya, geez"

Hang on... you've employed Herbert Augustus Chapman in to do the job
He'll be going through the drawers (and your wifes) when your back's turned

[IUFG]

"I've Christened the crapper for ya, geez"

Hang on... you've employed Herbert Augustus Chapman in to do the job
He'll be going through the drawers (and your wifes) when your back's turned

first shít in his new toilet and wánking into his missus's knicker drawer.