I have an old friend whose wife

[Sir C]

Nice alliteration.

Now where exactly were the sausages? Were they on your lap? Could you see your genitals through the bottom of the container?

The details escape me now; sucking away at a bottle of Bells tends to have that effect.

It was a family-sized box of sausages, though. There were hundreds of the búggers. I remember wishing I'd thought to get some mustard.

I often eat naked. Actually, during the recent hot spell I have spent the majority of my weekends naked, dressing only when required to leave the premises, which doesn't happen often.