I went for a meeting yesterday at a major motor manufacturer.

[Burney]

Fúcking hell. Was he educationally subnormal?

Pretty much, yes. One of the stupidest men I've ever worked with. Kept trying to get me to go to brothels with him.

[Sir C]

How very odd. I assume it's 'Cotter-id' ,but daren't say it out loud for fear of being mocked.

So what did old Sun Yaoting get up to? I'm guessing as stories go, it's a bit short on graphic sex scenes?

It was a short chapter in a sweet little book called 'Fascinating Footnotes From History'. It described how, at the age of 9 years old, the daft bástard decided that he wished to serve the emperor in the capacity of a eunuch, so asked his father to do the business which, oddly, he did, with a razor. It was rather painful, apparently. So off he went to court, and about 10 minutes later the emperor abdicated, leaving him a bit in the lurch

The sad bit was that the communists later threw away the jar containing his pickled 'nads, so he could not be buried whole, which upset him tremendously.

It seemed to me that the stupid ***** got exactly what he deserved.

[Sir C]

Pretty much, yes. One of the stupidest men I've ever worked with. Kept trying to get me to go to brothels with him.

You'd be wise not to visit a German brothel with him, lest a large male Kraut fúcks you in the bottom due to your chum's language difficulties.

[Pat Vegas]

I knew a chap who kept getting confused by the word 'Herren' in Germany because he assumed it meant 'Hers'.

I don't have this problem in Italy. They are very much ahead of the game.

The one marked uomo is clearly for pooves. So I stay clear of that one.

[Burney]

It was a short chapter in a sweet little book called 'Fascinating Footnotes From History'. It described how, at the age of 9 years old, the daft bástard decided that he wished to serve the emperor in the capacity of a eunuch, so asked his father to do the business which, oddly, he did, with a razor. It was rather painful, apparently. So off he went to court, and about 10 minutes later the emperor abdicated, leaving him a bit in the lurch

The sad bit was that the communists later threw away the jar containing his pickled 'nads, so he could not be buried whole, which upset him tremendously.

It seemed to me that the stupid ***** got exactly what he deserved.

Oddly enough, I was tweeting about self-castration to Tom Holland just yesterday. Yet more synchronicity.

I was talking about a cult in antiquity who used to slash their bits off and then run through the streets trying to find an open window into which to throw their severed parts, which would then oblige the householders to take them in and nurse them back to something approaching health. Of course, the locals were wise to this and would block doors and windows to their houses accordingly, meaning quite a lot of these loonies ended up bleeding to death in the street.