Those thieving lefty scum at the Grauniad have just tried to rob me.

[Monty92]

I mean...unless it's a Tottenham player or something. That would be different.

At the Simon Evans gig last Friday, about 5 minutes before he was due on stage I tweeted him a photo of the audience (taken from the back of the room) and said "Never seen so many white people in one place. Fascist".

He promptly came on and started the gig by riffing on my tweet for a few minutes

Anyway, more interestingly, as revealed during the gig, he recently found out (through a DNA test) that he's half-Jewish! His real dad was a prolific Jewish sperm doner who fathered over 1,000 children. The upshot of this is that in seconds Simon Evans went from thinking he was an only child to having over 1,000 half-siblings (many of whom he has now connected with in real life).

Mental, huh?

Prob best not to mention anything on Twitter to avoid spoilers.