I see there's one of those 'The Universe is Really Big' videos doing the rounds on

[Sir C]

Actually, if you keep going in one direction you end up back where you started {in space, but not in time, obv.}

You're right about God, though. Various different elements from myriad different dying stars form into complex molecules here and start self-replicating. That's weird enough. But even if we then have unicellular lifeforms in the sea, the idea that we just end up with our level of consciousness simply by accident is patently nonsense.

'Course Shiva set it all up. Our consciousness is just Shiva opening His third eye as a means of understanding Himself. Otherwise you could break into a school science Lab on a Friday night, mix up a few chemicals and leave them over a low bunsen, and you'd have weird talking amoebae by Monday morning.

You realise that the worship of these false idols makes Jesus sad, don't you?

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

You realise that the worship of these false idols makes Jesus sad, don't you?

Hate to break it to you, C, but Jeez was a Vedic.

c.500BC Buddha obtains enlightenment.

c. 270BC Ashoka the great unifies India and converts everyone to Buddhism, introducing written language to the sub-continent and putting up his 33 pillars of human and animal rights.

Buddhism remains the dominant religion there until c. C4th-C6th AD.

c.0BC 3 wise men come from the East. And they must be Buddhists. {see above.}

c.12/13AD Young Jeez kicks off with the Pharisees in the temple as he realises Yîds know fück all about God and all support the Sperz, anyway.

He goes off into the Wilderness, which is to the East, which as said, leads to the Buddhist sub-continent. Every thought that perhaps the 3 wise men left a map or calling card?

c.30 AD After 17 years bumming round India studying Buddhism, like any self-respecting backpacker, Jeez comes back and performs his first miracle. Turning water into wine, and not just any wine, but the best any of them had ever drunk. Which shows Jeez was bang up for getting off his head, just like Hindu sadhus do with charas out there.

c.30-33AD. Jeez now spends 3 years explaining Buddhism to Yîds in words of one syllable. Think only about the quotes directly attributed to Jeez in the 4 Gospels. Turn the other cheek, do unto others, the way to God is though your heart etc. All the parables about kindness (Good Samaritan) and forgiveness (Prodigal son.)

And compare this to the unloving, vengeful, violent, unforgiving Judaism of the Old Testament.

Does Jesus sound more like a Buddhist or a Jew?

c.33AD An alliance of Yîds and Wops nail him up for being a nice peaceful, Buddhist and making them question their own fückwitted religions.

See, C? All makes sense now, init?

[Sir C]

Load of old nonsense.

Everyone knows God made Buddha and everything else some 6,000 years ago FACT.

Jesus is a third of God, see?

Easy.

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

Load of old nonsense.

Everyone knows God made Buddha and everything else some 6,000 years ago FACT.

Jesus is a third of God, see?

Easy.

As ever, C, I defer to your greater theological insight.

But if Jesus is a third of God, why doesn't he bring back to life the other third that's deaded itself despite being Holy?

And if it walks around with its head under its arm, does it still have a halo?

[Burney]

Load of old nonsense.

Everyone knows God made Buddha and everything else some 6,000 years ago FACT.

Jesus is a third of God, see?

Easy.

Jesus is God, but so are God and their insubstantial friend, the Holy Spirit. They are all different, but the same. They are each parts of God, but at the same time they are each completely God.

It's really very simple. Much better than Ganpati's hippy elephant-worshipping nonsense.

[Sir C]

Jesus is God, but so are God and their insubstantial friend, the Holy Spirit. They are all different, but the same. They are each parts of God, but at the same time they are each completely God.

It's really very simple. Much better than Ganpati's hippy elephant-worshipping nonsense.

That's what I said. It's a simple triology. Three in one whilst three of three. Like those musketeers. Couldn't be simpler.

[Burney]

That's what I said. It's a simple triology. Three in one whilst three of three. Like those musketeers. Couldn't be simpler.

The way I had it explained to me was that rather than thinking of it as 1+1+1=3, you should think of it as 1x1x1=1.

This, I felt, cleared the whole thing up admirably and proved how much better being a Catholic is than being a dirty, ignorant heathen or (worse) a foul, hell-bound heretic.

[Sir C]

The way I had it explained to me was that rather than thinking of it as 1+1+1=3, you should think of it as 1x1x1=1.

This, I felt, cleared the whole thing up admirably and proved how much better being a Catholic is than being a dirty, ignorant heathen or (worse) a foul, hell-bound heretic.

I once asked for an explanation but what I got was a good bang round the ear 'ole. This, of course, served to knock the Truths of Mother Church firmly into my sinner's cranium, and I thank God for it on a daily basis.

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

That's what I said. It's a simple triology. Three in one whilst three of three. Like those musketeers. Couldn't be simpler.

A greater theological truth than anything in the old Testament or the Koran.

Well done, C. They should make you archbish.

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

Jesus is God, but so are God and their insubstantial friend, the Holy Spirit. They are all different, but the same. They are each parts of God, but at the same time they are each completely God.

It's really very simple. Much better than Ganpati's hippy elephant-worshipping nonsense.

Yeah? We've just got one God. But He comes in 3 main flavours. The 2nd of which Vishnu has incarnated about ten times, including as Rama and Krishna. And the 3rd, Shiva, is simultaneously the same as and different from his wife, Parvati, who's also an re-incarnation of his first wife Sati, but Parvati also incarnates as pure destruction, Kali. And then we've got millions of others Gods, too. Durga, Ganga etc.

So if it comes to a God ruck, we'd win.

And anyway, as I said, Jeez is one of ours anyway. Read his teachings and honestly tell me he sounds more like a ¥id than a Buddhist.

And that is why there is some essential element of civility in Christianity which is lacking in the other two Abrahamic religions.