You can thnk me for our victory now, if you like.

[Sir C]

I was watching a programme about IKEA the other day. A very frightened and sweaty man was pretending to run a part of their ideas department. He allowed a truly terrible idea to go to production. The poor chinesers were completely bewildered by it and it was an utter failure. I assume he's been sacked.

They've made a programme about IKEA? There was I thinking this was a golden age of TV. Clearly, we're scraping the bottom of the bottom of the barrell.

[Burney]

They've made a programme about IKEA? There was I thinking this was a golden age of TV. Clearly, we're scraping the bottom of the bottom of the barrell.

It was fascinating in that depressing way that programmes about retail sometimes are. They also showed one opening in some appalling northern ****hole. There was a weird man who'd been involved in all their openings in the UK and was bizarrely enthusiastic and seemed to think everyone else should be, too. Meanwhile they took on a kid so stupid I wouldn't have trusted him to cross the road on his own to work on the shopfloor.

All in all, they didn't come out of it terribly well.