So for various religious reasons we have tomorrow and Wednesday off

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Luis my dear boy. I lived in the old West Germany for four years - and three years in Berlin as a teenager and yet can only manage a vulgar 'pidgin' German if pressed.

This is now a source of acute embarrassment to me and when young germans I meet through work discover I spent nearly seven years there without learning the language, I can see they dismiss me as a stubborn old mule.

I must insist you immerse yourself in study and rectify this nonsense immediately. The fewer of us speak German, the more superior they start to feel, and the highly increased likelihood of them starting off on their 'adventures' again.

[Burney]

Luis my dear boy. I lived in the old West Germany for four years - and three years in Berlin as a teenager and yet can only manage a vulgar 'pidgin' German if pressed.

This is now a source of acute embarrassment to me and when young germans I meet through work discover I spent nearly seven years there without learning the language, I can see they dismiss me as a stubborn old mule.

I must insist you immerse yourself in study and rectify this nonsense immediately. The fewer of us speak German, the more superior they start to feel, and the highly increased likelihood of them starting off on their 'adventures' again.

My German used to be pretty good (albeit there was that slight misunderstanding in Prague that resulted in me being sexually assaulted and having to claim to be a pàedophile to get out of it). Now - although I spend loads of time there - I barely ever get to use it, since they just speak English the minute I open my mouth. As a result, I barely even bother trying beyond the basic politenesses.

[Ash]

My German used to be pretty good (albeit there was that slight misunderstanding in Prague that resulted in me being sexually assaulted and having to claim to be a pàedophile to get out of it). Now - although I spend loads of time there - I barely ever get to use it, since they just speak English the minute I open my mouth. As a result, I barely even bother trying beyond the basic politenesses.

Having three genders seems a bit unreasonable to me.

[Burney]

Having three genders seems a bit unreasonable to me.

Transphobe.

[Ash]

Transphobe.

Oh noes! That's two hate crimes I've committed in a week, including the aggression against leprechauns.

I'm off to open a twitter account so I can submit and confess to the High Sparrow of the Faith Militant so that I may be purified and that others might learn from my example.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

My German used to be pretty good (albeit there was that slight misunderstanding in Prague that resulted in me being sexually assaulted and having to claim to be a pàedophile to get out of it). Now - although I spend loads of time there - I barely ever get to use it, since they just speak English the minute I open my mouth. As a result, I barely even bother trying beyond the basic politenesses.

It is the oddest thing b but my spoken german improved drastically after I left the place for good circa '84.

I found myself at a very august confirmation celebration with an old Champagne family in Vertus ( friends of the wife - she's the posh one ) some 10 years ago and the village priest - L'Abbé as I learned I should address him - sat next to me and though he spoke no english we were able to discuss a range of issues, war and politics included, in our rudimentary german.

Of all the english folk (aggressively middle-class to a man and woman) at this celebration I was clearly the only one there with anything like a second language and I could see I was immediately held in much higher regard by the french.

[Luis Anaconda]

My German used to be pretty good (albeit there was that slight misunderstanding in Prague that resulted in me being sexually assaulted and having to claim to be a pàedophile to get out of it). Now - although I spend loads of time there - I barely ever get to use it, since they just speak English the minute I open my mouth. As a result, I barely even bother trying beyond the basic politenesses.

That's what actually makes it hard, b. I had basic German before I got here (GCSE) but it's difficult to talk to then in their own language. Even had incidents with the police - who you would think for legal reasons would have to speak in German but once thery know you are English ...

[Burney]

That's what actually makes it hard, b. I had basic German before I got here (GCSE) but it's difficult to talk to then in their own language. Even had incidents with the police - who you would think for legal reasons would have to speak in German but once thery know you are English ...

I did A-Level German and only GCSE French. However, due to their respective attitudes to speaking English (and the fact that I've holidayed regularly in France, while only visiting Germany on business), my French is now much better than my German.

That said, visiting Rostock a month or so ago did mean I had to dust off the German more frequently. Clearly die Ossis are not quite as well-versed in English as the westerners.

[Luis Anaconda]

I did A-Level German and only GCSE French. However, due to their respective attitudes to speaking English (and the fact that I've holidayed regularly in France, while only visiting Germany on business), my French is now much better than my German.

That said, visiting Rostock a month or so ago did mean I had to dust off the German more frequently. Clearly die Ossis are not quite as well-versed in English as the westerners.

I did French for 8 years - still when I am searching for a word the French one comes to mind first. It is just beautiful language to speak though - utterly useless (outside France) but much nicer than German. I work with several Ossis so I know what you mean.

[Ash]

I did French for 8 years - still when I am searching for a word the French one comes to mind first. It is just beautiful language to speak though - utterly useless (outside France) but much nicer than German. I work with several Ossis so I know what you mean.

I've used it to talk to Italians.