Talking of snobby spastic, I'm going for lunch tomorrow with several friends and

[Sir C]

3-5 pints before meeting up will do the trick.

Hmm. Imbibing excessively prior to meeting for lunch is potentially problematic, sw. There is a danger that one may become bemused, muddled or confused, and the possibility exists that one might behave less than impeccably - even, God help us, rudely.

An English gentleman never runs the risk of being rude, sw. You understand that, of co.....

Oh. Sorry. As you were. Back to your shamrock carving or spud picking. There's nothing to see here.