So we can add theatre to the list of things Mo knows nothing about

[Burney]

Terry Pratchett's novels do all of those as well, and very funnily, but you think he's shít too. Because he's too accessible and does cheesy puns? And doesn't even write in chapters?

They involve dwarves, trolls, magic and other nonsense, a. That makes them silly and makes serious consideration impossible. You might as well introduce Harry Potter into the argument.

And as for that cünt Tolkien...

[Sir C]

They involve dwarves, trolls, magic and other nonsense, a. That makes them silly and makes serious consideration impossible. You might as well introduce Harry Potter into the argument.

And as for that cünt Tolkien...

Moral though, your JRR. Terrifically moral.

[Burney]

Moral though, your JRR. Terrifically moral.

Yes, but elves and goblins and shít, so silly. You can't be moral and silly.

[Sir C]

Yes, but elves and goblins and shít, so silly. You can't be moral and silly.

Some **** should have told Aesop.

[World's End Stella]

They involve dwarves, trolls, magic and other nonsense, a. That makes them silly and makes serious consideration impossible. You might as well introduce Harry Potter into the argument.

And as for that cünt Tolkien...

My most favouritest book ever is The Naked and the Dead.

What does that say about me, Burney?

[Sir C]

My most favouritest book ever is The Naked and the Dead.

What does that say about me, Burney?

Is that the one after The Two Towers?

[Burney]

My most favouritest book ever is The Naked and the Dead.

What does that say about me, Burney?

That you like stories about sweaty men constantly obsessing about whether someone at home is 'fugging' their wives and girlfriends?

I remember reading that and being annoyed by all the fugging

[World's End Stella]

That you like stories about sweaty men constantly obsessing about whether someone at home is 'fugging' their wives and girlfriends?

I remember reading that and being annoyed by all the fugging

To be fair, my criteria for it being my most favouritest book ever was that I read it in Greece in the late 80s whilst sitting on a beach which had two pert, topless, blonde Scandanavian birds running around. The fact that I was able to read it with that sort of distraction was impressive, I thought.

A Bright Shining Lie would be up there, as well. I really do prefer American writers for some reason.

[Burney]

To be fair, my criteria for it being my most favouritest book ever was that I read it in Greece in the late 80s whilst sitting on a beach which had two pert, topless, blonde Scandanavian birds running around. The fact that I was able to read it with that sort of distraction was impressive, I thought.

A Bright Shining Lie would be up there, as well. I really do prefer American writers for some reason.

England really hasn't produced many great novelists. It's a major shortcoming in our literary canon.

Compared to the Russians and the French and - latterly - the Americans, the likes of Dickens, Eliot and Hardy are pretty lightweight, I'm afraid.

[Mo Britain less Europe]

Funny. I have the opposite view, whilst I enjoy some American novelists - Auster, Tartt, Easton Ellis - British novelists have consistently produced work of the highest calibre.

The Russians? They had a good spell in the nineteenth century but after that? Not much on the ground.

Current French novelists of merit? Can't think of anyone beyond Houellebecq.

I note the exclusion of the Bronte sisters and Austen amongst the classics. Iris Murdoch is a great in my book, as is Tolkien despite the barbs. Surely Orwell and Waugh deserve mentions? Golding for sure and Conrad definitely. Fowles? Greene? Spark?

Current authors who may well be considered "greats" in the future:

McEwen, Ishiguro, Boyd, Mitchell, Barnes, Zadie Smith, Lanchester, Ali Smith