You can thnk me for our victory now, if you like.

[Sir C]

I will wager you have gayed them up, such is your way.

The true essence of the Ikea meatball is that one knows they are cheap and nasty, yet wonderful and fulfilling at the same time. Do you have the lingonberry jam to serve with?

When you say, 'gayed them up', you mean, 'improved them', don't you?

Actually I have no idea, since I don't know the IKEA recipe. I'm guessing they use a mixture of pork and beef and I have only beef, so perhaps they are less gay.

Jam? On my dinner? Fúck you.

[Burney]

When you say, 'gayed them up', you mean, 'improved them', don't you?

Actually I have no idea, since I don't know the IKEA recipe. I'm guessing they use a mixture of pork and beef and I have only beef, so perhaps they are less gay.

Jam? On my dinner? Fúck you.

I've never had an IKEA meatball. Or even a Swedish meatball, tbh. I assume they're just like everyone else's meatballs?

[Sir C]

I've never had an IKEA meatball. Or even a Swedish meatball, tbh. I assume they're just like everyone else's meatballs?

They come (or used to when I had them 25 years ago) with a mustard cream sauce; that's what makes them Swedish, I think. That and the jam.

[Burney]

They come (or used to when I had them 25 years ago) with a mustard cream sauce; that's what makes them Swedish, I think. That and the jam.

They do serve lingonberry jam with absolutely everything. Basically it's because it's dark half the year and preserved fruit was literally their only source of Vitamin C.

[Sir C]

They do serve lingonberry jam with absolutely everything. Basically it's because it's dark half the year and preserved fruit was literally their only source of Vitamin C.

I have also heard them referred to as cloudberries.

Cloudberries my árse.

[Burney]

I have also heard them referred to as cloudberries.

Cloudberries my árse.

I think they're different, but who really cares?

[SWv2]

I've never had an IKEA meatball. Or even a Swedish meatball, tbh. I assume they're just like everyone else's meatballs?

Hmmm. Have you ever gone to Ikea?

[Burney]

Hmmm. Have you ever gone to Ikea?

I've gone to IKEA. I become disorientated and invariably emerge enraged and in no mood for meatballs. It's like the seventh circle of hell for me, I must admit.

[SWv2]

I've gone to IKEA. I become disorientated and invariably emerge enraged and in no mood for meatballs. It's like the seventh circle of hell for me, I must admit.

The meatball ending is the only thing that keeps me going as normally any visit I am forced to make is on a Sunday and I invariably have been hungover.

Not unknown for me to lie down on one of the showroom beds, thus spoiling the moment for the eager newly wed home builders as they do up their measurements and plan their blissful future.

[Burney]

The meatball ending is the only thing that keeps me going as normally any visit I am forced to make is on a Sunday and I invariably have been hungover.

Not unknown for me to lie down on one of the showroom beds, thus spoiling the moment for the eager newly wed home builders as they do up their measurements and plan their blissful future.

With a raging hangover it's literally one of the worst places on earth. Noisy, hot, disorientating, impossible to escape and highly paranoia-inducing. It could almost be purpose-built to cause panic attacks.