Greta Thunberg is 17

[Sir C]

I think you'd be permitted a special dispensation if you've just lost a clockweight and want to check that you are not wholly unmanned? I mean it was essentially medical in nature, if you think about it.

I can assure you that upon returning home with my hooter half-removed, the last thing on my mind was blowing it.

Anyway, the reverend Frank wouldn't have agreed with you. No, he had extremely definite views on the matter, and these views were essentially, "NO!"

Odd that he failed to mention the matter until we were 18, though. Between you and I, I suspect that there were certain chaps there whose horses had already bolted, if you take my meaning.

[Burney]

I can assure you that upon returning home with my hooter half-removed, the last thing on my mind was blowing it.

Anyway, the reverend Frank wouldn't have agreed with you. No, he had extremely definite views on the matter, and these views were essentially, "NO!"

Odd that he failed to mention the matter until we were 18, though. Between you and I, I suspect that there were certain chaps there whose horses had already bolted, if you take my meaning.

Hairy-palmed chaps, eh? I'll wager they'd started dropping catches in the outfield? Or - worse - were the sort of spavined weed who was no good at games anyway?

Anyway, since the Bible is very clear that, as a man 'wounded in the stones', I shan't be entering the Kingdom of Heaven under any circumstances, I might as well wánk myself raw for all the spiritual harm it'll do.