Well, join me in Penang Hill then. Perfectly secure from the locals with a delightful, cooling breeze.
Lazy evenings in the hlll-top garden overseeing Georgetown and the ships coasting their way to Singapore, bound further east and beyond. We shall toast Francis Light and his ilk before dining at the E&O.
"Plenty of strikers can score goals," he said, gesturing to the famous old stands casting shadows around us.
"But a lot have found it difficult wearing the number 9 shirt for The Arsenal."