Exactly how violent a rectal reaming are we to undergo tomorrow?

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

Ah, England will be there from October. You can pop along and enjoy some proper culture.

Dharamshala_stadium,himachal_pradesh.jpg

You should go to this stadium, B. I really wanna go. I haven't been back there since it's been built.

And once you've watched cricket in the Himalayan town with the Dalai Lama's govt in exile, you'll probably realise the error of your ways, drop your Tory materialism, shave your head, wear orange and go round with a begging bowl as you commune with the Divine.

Though you could then go to Manali or the Parvati Valley on the other sides of the state and do it the Hindu way instead. Dreadlocks, not skinhead. Saffron not orange. And smoke chillums non-stop so you get to the higher spiritual planes without as much of the hard work.

Chillum make me Shiva and all that.

[Burney]

Dharamshala_stadium,himachal_pradesh.jpg

You should go to this stadium, B. I really wanna go. I haven't been back there since it's been built.

And once you've watched cricket in the Himalayan town with the Dalai Lama's govt in exile, you'll probably realise the error of your ways, drop your Tory materialism, shave your head, wear orange and go round with a begging bowl as you commune with the Divine.

Though you could then go to Manali or the Parvati Valley on the other sides of the state and do it the Hindu way instead. Dreadlocks, not skinhead. Saffron not orange. And smoke chillums non-stop so you get to the higher spiritual planes without as much of the hard work.

Chillum make me Shiva and all that.

Altitude must make the bowling conditions interesting. Wouldn't fancy running between the wickets much (mind you, I don't at sea level, either).

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

Altitude must make the bowling conditions interesting. Wouldn't fancy running between the wickets much (mind you, I don't at sea level, either).

It's actually at the bottom of the hill in McCleod Ganj, so it's only about 1,100m above sea level. Not like the Tibetan Plateau's that's over 3.5k.

Would the ball move faster through the air cos it's thinner?

I really don't know why the money-obsessed BBCI doesn't play a couple of extra tests there at the end of May, just before monsoon breaks. Climate's ideal, like an English summer's day.

[Burney]

It's actually at the bottom of the hill in McCleod Ganj, so it's only about 1,100m above sea level. Not like the Tibetan Plateau's that's over 3.5k.

Would the ball move faster through the air cos it's thinner?

I really don't know why the money-obsessed BBCI doesn't play a couple of extra tests there at the end of May, just before monsoon breaks. Climate's ideal, like an English summer's day.

Certainly should go faster. Although it would probably swing less due to less air resistance. Should get some seriously big sixes, though.

[Sir C]

Dharamshala_stadium,himachal_pradesh.jpg

You should go to this stadium, B. I really wanna go. I haven't been back there since it's been built.

And once you've watched cricket in the Himalayan town with the Dalai Lama's govt in exile, you'll probably realise the error of your ways, drop your Tory materialism, shave your head, wear orange and go round with a begging bowl as you commune with the Divine.

Though you could then go to Manali or the Parvati Valley on the other sides of the state and do it the Hindu way instead. Dreadlocks, not skinhead. Saffron not orange. And smoke chillums non-stop so you get to the higher spiritual planes without as much of the hard work.

Chillum make me Shiva and all that.

Those lads with their bodies all covered in ash and their cócks out.

What's that all about?

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

Those lads with their bodies all covered in ash and their cócks out.

What's that all about?

There an extreme sect of Hindus. Think sort of puritan. There's even one lot that **** corpses so they don't get turned on, forcing them to think about Shiva as opposed to the rotting corpse their knobbing.

But the normal sadhus are sound. When I bathed in the Ganga at Varanasi, one came up to me from nowhere when I'd got out, made the trident sign on my head in ash and just buggered off. I actually felt rather honoured. Most tourists won't bathe there, what with the half burned corpses from dead people that couldn't afford enough wood for the funeral pyre but didn't want to skimp on the electric cremation.

But up in Himachal, the sadhus you meet are often westernised. They'll all Brahmins, obviously (priest caste init) so they'll go to university to make their parents happy, having grown up speaking English as well as Bengali or Hindi at home, but will then feel the call of the mountains and the desire to pursue a spiritual path.

So you can chat about politics, economics, philosophy etc with them. And they're really chilled, what with being middle class, educated Hindu hippies stoned off their trolley on the best puff on the planet.

It's meeting these ones that gets people like me and the Beatles into it all. You think they're the good ones and tend to ignore the huge numbers of normal non-sadhu Hindus who support the Hindutva nazis and burn Muslims and untouchables whenever they get the chance.