We're going to beat Villa at home and the geniuses will explain

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

Do you think we might be cursed? There were stories of builders burying Spurs shirts under the Emirates, perhaps we are suffering from the bad magic? Maybe we should try an exorcism. Anything's worth a go, because 'playing it out from the back' sure isn't working.

Of course we're cursed. It was Burni and the Ashes.

Summer '96 - the Euro QF Saturday - we broke into a warehouse in Ashburton Grove, tripping in the early afternoon, so we could do a party there that night.

During the party, I cut the artery by my temple, went to hospital and got bandaged up. Came back to the party, but an hour later, it started pîssing blood again. Went back out, the police wouldn't call an ambulance unless we told them who was doing the party. Got to the Rocket on Holloway Rd, called 999 from a phone box but they didn't believe us, even when the security guard came and spoke to them on the phone.

I'm pouring blood and starting to feel weak. Luckily some hippy raver couple who were just on the way to the party saw us and gave me and my best mate a lift to the Hospital. We told them to say what had happened when they went back and got to the door so they got in free and got sorted out some freebies. The other mate who'd come out with me saw to that.

Sunday morning, when a very good (now sadly dead) friend went to the offie, she got lost but then found my trail of blood and followed it back to the party.

So that warehouse tried to kill me, but then Arsène came and won us doubles and built a new stadium on the cünting building. So when we score, you're all jumping up and down on the grave of the warehouse that I fought to the death.

You don't think it's my blood that's cursed, do you?

[Burney]

Of course we're cursed. It was Burni and the Ashes.

Summer '96 - the Euro QF Saturday - we broke into a warehouse in Ashburton Grove, tripping in the early afternoon, so we could do a party there that night.

During the party, I cut the artery by my temple, went to hospital and got bandaged up. Came back to the party, but an hour later, it started pîssing blood again. Went back out, the police wouldn't call an ambulance unless we told them who was doing the party. Got to the Rocket on Holloway Rd, called 999 from a phone box but they didn't believe us, even when the security guard came and spoke to them on the phone.

I'm pouring blood and starting to feel weak. Luckily some hippy raver couple who were just on the way to the party saw us and gave me and my best mate a lift to the Hospital. We told them to say what had happened when they went back and got to the door so they got in free and got sorted out some freebies. The other mate who'd come out with me saw to that.

Sunday morning, when a very good (now sadly dead) friend went to the offie, she got lost but then found my trail of blood and followed it back to the party.

So that warehouse tried to kill me, but then Arsène came and won us doubles and built a new stadium on the cünting building. So when we score, you're all jumping up and down on the grave of the warehouse that I fought to the death.

You don't think it's my blood that's cursed, do you?

Totally worth it.

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

Totally worth it.

One great series as opposed to ever winning the league again?

If Trump was a Gooner he'd probably try and sue you. Could AWIMB sue you? If AW had kept winning leagues, we'd not have to watch this dago's abortion of a team with the worst defence in my lifetime, the worst MF since Hillier, Selley and Morrow, Rambo gone, Ozil wasted, and the new Gervinho.*

Basically everyone except our two strikers are ****, and Dick's injured one of them playing a friendly in the sodding Emirates Cup.

Only Dick could buy worse CHs than Mustafi.

*Actually, the summer after you cursed us, we lost Cesc, Nasri and AA23, and bought in Gervinho, Santos, Park and Jenkinson.

This is all your fault.

[Pokster]

One great series as opposed to ever winning the league again?

If Trump was a Gooner he'd probably try and sue you. Could AWIMB sue you? If AW had kept winning leagues, we'd not have to watch this dago's abortion of a team with the worst defence in my lifetime, the worst MF since Hillier, Selley and Morrow, Rambo gone, Ozil wasted, and the new Gervinho.*

Basically everyone except our two strikers are ****, and Dick's injured one of them playing a friendly in the sodding Emirates Cup.

Only Dick could buy worse CHs than Mustafi.

*Actually, the summer after you cursed us, we lost Cesc, Nasri and AA23, and bought in Gervinho, Santos, Park and Jenkinson.

This is all your fault.

So to sum it up, Berni is a ****

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

So to sum it up, Berni is a ****

Well, the summer after he cursed us is when it all started to go completely tîts up.

[Sir C]

Totally worth it.

That demonstrates a degree of selfishness usually associated with socialists.

Are you a socialist, b?