Cor, the plucky youths at Ajax gave Juve a proper mauling last night.

[Sir C]

Who is their Arsene? Who is their Cesc?

No, I can’t bear to think about what might have been!

Erik ten Hag. Frenkie de Jong.

My old da would have been so excited watching that

[Burney]

Erik ten Hag. Frenkie de Jong.

My old da would have been so excited watching that

Proper Dutch names, those. I particularly like 'Frenkie'.

[Pokster]

Proper Dutch names, those. I particularly like 'Frenkie'.

Oh Frenkie, do you remember me

[Sir C]

Proper Dutch names, those. I particularly like 'Frenkie'.

See also Mathijs de Ligt and Donny van de Beek.

'Donny'

[Burney]

See also Mathijs de Ligt and Donny van de Beek.

'Donny'

Mathijs de Ligt sounds to me like the sort of chap who should have painted some of those terribly austere 17th Century landscapes you find in the quieter recesses of the National Gallery.

[Sir C]

Mathijs de Ligt sounds to me like the sort of chap who should have painted some of those terribly austere 17th Century landscapes you find in the quieter recesses of the National Gallery.

Or one featuring ice skating and peasants en fete?

[Burney]

Or one featuring ice skating and peasants en fete?

Oooh, yes. Big ugly peasants with lumpy, Dutch faces (no offence) and where all the women look like they would beat you in an arm-wrestle.

[Sir C]

Oooh, yes. Big ugly peasants with lumpy, Dutch faces (no offence) and where all the women look like they would beat you in an arm-wrestle.

Or as it's now known, 'the population of Rotterdam'.