Tonight I am alone in my own property. There are so many questions unanswered at this

[Rich]

Onanism, r? Surely, as a medical man, you must know the deleterious effects such behaviour can have on your constitution? The enervation? The neuralgia? The loss of vitality and strength? The inability to play a straight bat or hold your catches in the outfield?

These are all medical facts, r.

Blindness too, I hear.

Anyway, part of my pre match routine was to bash one out before leaving for the ground. Didn't seem to do me much harm.