Just did some sums on what Tucky's little mini-break at the vets is likely to cost

[Sir C]

Surely he's heavily insured, ffs? What kind of fúcking Jew are you, for Yahweh's sake?

Think of the excess dear boy! Oy a broch!

[Burney]

Think of the excess dear boy! Oy a broch!

Yes. Also a sh1t cat with bad AIDS must have had some pretty hefty premiums. I'll bet he balked at those and now the vet's going to absolutely ream him.

[Sir C]

Yes. Also a sh1t cat with bad AIDS must have had some pretty hefty premiums. I'll bet he balked at those and now the vet's going to absolutely ream him.

Poor Sphincter is not a shít cat, he's merely a Jack Monroe-type professional victim.

You should be able to claim benefits for sick animals. Just goes to show the inequalities inherent in the capitalist system.

[Burney]

Poor Sphincter is not a shít cat, he's merely a Jack Monroe-type professional victim.

You should be able to claim benefits for sick animals. Just goes to show the inequalities inherent in the capitalist system.

You're suggesting that he's actually got Munchausen's and is merely putting on all his ailments?

[Sir C]

You're suggesting that he's actually got Munchausen's and is merely putting on all his ailments?

Well, there's a type, isn't there. Always something wrong with them. "Oh no, my Geoff 'asn't worked fer years wiv 'is lumbago innit, plus he's got piles and a dodgy ticker and that."

[Burney]

Well, there's a type, isn't there. Always something wrong with them. "Oh no, my Geoff 'asn't worked fer years wiv 'is lumbago innit, plus he's got piles and a dodgy ticker and that."

True enough. Talking of which, I heard the following monologues from a woman while having a quiet pint last week. I noted them down for posterity.

‘The only thing with Brian is his schizophrenia means he doesn’t like to leave the house...’

‘And I’m like ‘I want to go out for dinner’, but with his teeth, he can only eat soft food...’

‘He’s a good-looking man, though. I’m very lucky.’

Brian sounds quite the catch n’est ce pas? Personally I’m glad he doesn’t leave the house

Then she came out with this and I had to leave the pub I was laughing so much.

‘So I lost my dad. Four years later I lost my mum. Then four years after that, my marriage ended. All in Olympic years.
I won’t watch the Olympics anymore.’

[Sir C]

True enough. Talking of which, I heard the following monologues from a woman while having a quiet pint last week. I noted them down for posterity.

‘The only thing with Brian is his schizophrenia means he doesn’t like to leave the house...’

‘And I’m like ‘I want to go out for dinner’, but with his teeth, he can only eat soft food...’

‘He’s a good-looking man, though. I’m very lucky.’

Brian sounds quite the catch n’est ce pas? Personally I’m glad he doesn’t leave the house

Then she came out with this and I had to leave the pub I was laughing so much.

‘So I lost my dad. Four years later I lost my mum. Then four years after that, my marriage ended. All in Olympic years.
I won’t watch the Olympics anymore.’

That's like a Victoria Wood sketch.

[Monty92]

Yes. Also a sh1t cat with bad AIDS must have had some pretty hefty premiums. I'll bet he balked at those and now the vet's going to absolutely ream him.

There's actually a highly effective iodine therapy for hyperactive thyroid that makes the cat radioactive for a couple of weeks, so they have to be kept in solitary confinement.

£2.5k

Now, I love the fella, but not that much...

[Sir C]

There's actually a highly effective iodine therapy for hyperactive thyroid that makes the cat radioactive for a couple of weeks, so they have to be kept in solitary confinement.

£2.5k

Now, I love the fella, but not that much...

You can't put a price on love. What if your shikse was ill, would you refuse to pay to make her better?

Tight ****. Makes me sympathise with the Palestinian people.

[Burney]

You can't put a price on love. What if your shikse was ill, would you refuse to pay to make her better?

Tight ****. Makes me sympathise with the Palestinian people.

Not after two kids.