AFTV give Emery 6/10

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

I think he's the Dorian Gray-type representation of the club's soul now.

You never saw him around when Wenger was in charge, did you? That tells its own story imo.

Or Wenger's love child wi' thon rapper salt. It is widely known in medical circles that the wizened pusillanimous gametes of a tired old man are likely to result in the profound dysmorphia of any progeny.

[Burney]

Or Wenger's love child wi' thon rapper salt. It is widely known in medical circles that the wizened pusillanimous gametes of a tired old man are likely to result in the profound dysmorphia of any progeny.

Did he actually impregnate it? Good Lord. Clearly his commitment to incautious attacking play extends beyond the pitch to his attitude to birth control, the dirty auld sod.

Still, you can't imagine any young rappers allowing Emery anywhere near them, can you?