Sir C, Berni, any Tories and/or generous people. PLEASE HELP.

[Ganpati's Goonerz--AFC's Aboriginal Fertility Cult]

The glw is en route back from India. We had wanted to get one of the street kids - Monu, top mate for more than a decade - an electric rickshaw so he could have an income.

But he wanted a new one, not 2nd hand, and that meant getting him a bank account, which she did. But there wasn't enough time to sort out the rickshaw. We'll be doing that in Jan when we go out for a good mate's wedding.

The reason I'm asking you Tories for help is that I thought what more can we do for him once we've got that? He'll still be living on the street, sleeping in his rickshaw. And I thought buy him a 2nd one so he can rent it out.

Surely this would appeal to you, in this season of goodwill?

Not only will you have helped me embrace capitalism, but you've had helped turn a kid who was rescued from an abusive family. His elder sister, Ganga, put him in a rucksack when he was a baby and jumped from the window.

She's now dead. As is his brother, Moona. And his (and my) best mate, Mukhesh.

But you could help turn him, through his hard work, into a rentier class capitalist.

Would that not make you happy?

And every journey in a leccy rickshaw is one less in an auto-rickshaw.

So when some manky trustafarian from eXtinction Rebellion starts to hassle you, you can reply:

"My good man, I offset my carbon by paying for a young man who grew up alone on the streets of Delhi, to drive people around in his electric rickshaw, thus saving the emissions from autorickshaws.

Indeed Monu, for that is his name, is such a hard working young chap, that he's offset the carbon from every flight I've ever taken AND I'M A FÜCKING PILOT. Stick that in your bong and smoke it, Tarquin."

We've had donations from ravers, nurses and a niece who works in a care home. If you Tory bourgeois gentilhommes would like to help too, it would be gratefully received.

If you would like the see the 3 min film we made a decade ago when he was picking litter and earned 11 pence in the day, it's here:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/yfbcyixgru...upees.mov?dl=0

If you would like to see the 12 min film we were making in continuation, which has his sister Ganga in it explaining how she rescued him from the abusive parents, it's here:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/b2vd1tx8nq...rganj.mov?dl=0


I know this post is so long no-one will read it, but at least I'm trying.

If any of you have got this far, and would like to help someone dealt an appalling hand through no fault of their own, and give them a chance in this season of good will, or would like to help him join the rentier class, then PM me and I'll send you the account details.

No sum too large or too small.

Ganpati bless all of you and your loved ones this Christmas.

Jai Shree Ganesh.

[Billy Goat Sverige]

Get him a GoPro and tell him to travel around on his new rickshaw making Indian barber shop ASMR videos. Quite popular on YouTube.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

No sum too large or too small.

Ganpati bless all of you and your loved ones this Christmas.

Jai Shree Ganesh.

ungrateful wee c@nt will only start voting Tory

Anyways, Berni and C et al have squirrelled their wealth away into offshore accounts just now (in case Jezza wins) and if he does win they'll be saddled with the horrendous expense of converting their lofts into safe hiding spaces.

[Pat Vegas]

Voting day is no time to make big financial decisons Ganpati. I fear your timing is off on this one.

[Burney]

The glw is en route back from India. We had wanted to get one of the street kids - Monu, top mate for more than a decade - an electric rickshaw so he could have an income.

But he wanted a new one, not 2nd hand, and that meant getting him a bank account, which she did. But there wasn't enough time to sort out the rickshaw. We'll be doing that in Jan when we go out for a good mate's wedding.

The reason I'm asking you Tories for help is that I thought what more can we do for him once we've got that? He'll still be living on the street, sleeping in his rickshaw. And I thought buy him a 2nd one so he can rent it out.

Surely this would appeal to you, in this season of goodwill?

Not only will you have helped me embrace capitalism, but you've had helped turn a kid who was rescued from an abusive family. His elder sister, Ganga, put him in a rucksack when he was a baby and jumped from the window.

She's now dead. As is his brother, Moona. And his (and my) best mate, Mukhesh.

But you could help turn him, through his hard work, into a rentier class capitalist.

Would that not make you happy?

And every journey in a leccy rickshaw is one less in an auto-rickshaw.

So when some manky trustafarian from eXtinction Rebellion starts to hassle you, you can reply:

"My good man, I offset my carbon by paying for a young man who grew up alone on the streets of Delhi, to drive people around in his electric rickshaw, thus saving the emissions from autorickshaws.

Indeed Monu, for that is his name, is such a hard working young chap, that he's offset the carbon from every flight I've ever taken AND I'M A FÜCKING PILOT. Stick that in your bong and smoke it, Tarquin."

We've had donations from ravers, nurses and a niece who works in a care home. If you Tory bourgeois gentilhommes would like to help too, it would be gratefully received.

If you would like the see the 3 min film we made a decade ago when he was picking litter and earned 11 pence in the day, it's here:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/yfbcyixgru...upees.mov?dl=0

If you would like to see the 12 min film we were making in continuation, which has his sister Ganga in it explaining how she rescued him from the abusive parents, it's here:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/b2vd1tx8nq...rganj.mov?dl=0


I know this post is so long no-one will read it, but at least I'm trying.

If any of you have got this far, and would like to help someone dealt an appalling hand through no fault of their own, and give them a chance in this season of good will, or would like to help him join the rentier class, then PM me and I'll send you the account details.

No sum too large or too small.

Ganpati bless all of you and your loved ones this Christmas.

Jai Shree Ganesh.

So you want me to invest in this chap, but you seem to have left out the bit where I get a return on my investment. I'm sure this is simply an oversight on your part and can be swiftly remedied. Kindly supply me with his business plan that includes his projected revenues over the next four years and I'm sure we can arrive at a suitable and mutually beneficial arrangement that involves me basically owning him.

[Pat Vegas]

So you want me to invest in this chap, but you seem to have left out the bit where I get a return on my investment. I'm sure this is simply an oversight on your part and can be swiftly remedied. Kindly supply me with his business plan that includes his projected revenues over the next four years and I'm sure we can arrive at a suitable and mutually beneficial arrangement that involves me basically owning him.

I like this it can be a new section on Awimb.

Sir C and yourself sitting at tables with stacks of cash like dragons den.

[Sir C]

I've done my bit for the transportation executives of the sub-continent recently, g.

Apart from which, I'm gagging for some Extinction Rebellion snowflake to get on my case so that I can cheerfully knock his kúnt in for him.

I applaud your efforts on behalf of your chum and wish him all the very best, naturally.