Exactly so, a. No, there's no way I'm spending hours and hours training and practicing and travelling and performing. Instead, I shall head out onto 't fell and walk up fúcking mountians for 8 hours a day.
Haha, as I was driving over Buttertubs Pass from the Yorkshire Dales to Cumbria I noted with pleasure that someone had amended the 'Welcome To Cumbria' sign to read, 'We come To Cum'.
Consider also a Tuesday night in November. It's dark, it's cold and it's damp. We have Leicester City at home in the league. We're 3rd in the league and going well; tonight could put us second.
You're really quite hopeful and excited as you open a the second bottle of ordinary claret and thrown another log on the fire whilst awaiting kick off...
Why would you not play cricket again? Aren't you only, like, 40-something?
I now play 7-a-side football every Monday night with a bunch of local Faversham types (including two ex cons) who only ever seem to go to London to see their mates box in unlicensed fight clubs in Bethnal Green.
They've nicknamed me "Pull back Paul" due to my prediliction for a by-line cut back. I almost burst with pride