One of our players will not be available for the Europa League final because of the location. (Even DB could have driven there).
What a farce. If we lose we have a tidy excuse.
Or play it and kick off as normal. Then have all 22 players congregate towards the middle of the pitch and knock it around amongst each other.
Gets to penalties and every player agrees to roll it wide until the referee abandons the game. Trophy would be shared and the CL position goes to Arsenal since Chelsea have already qualified for it.