TV reviewimb:

[SWv2]

TV Reviewwimb II:

Cold Feet.

Fúcking shíte.

[Burney]

Das Boot. The remake. Saw the fiurst one last night.

It's really good. I like how the German bits are in German, the French bits are in French, and the English bits are in English.

Watch it.

Nah. It’s got birds in. What are birds doing in Das Boot, ffs? Political correctness gone mad.

[Sir C]

Nah. It’s got birds in. What are birds doing in Das Boot, ffs? Political correctness gone mad.

I like girls. But then I’m not a fag.

[Burney]

I like girls. But then I’m not a fag.

If I’m watching Das Boot, I want popping rivets and pallid, sweaty, straggly-bearded krauts you can virtually smell shouting ‘ALARM!’ while being depth charged. I don’t want chicks getting in the way.

[Sir C]

If I’m watching Das Boot, I want popping rivets and pallid, sweaty, straggly-bearded krauts you can virtually smell shouting ‘ALARM!’ while being depth charged. I don’t want chicks getting in the way.

Well don't watch it then.

Fúck me. Talk about a tough crowd.

Last night I tried to make pork balls. The porky centre was perfect but the batter just wasn't thick and bready enough.

[Burney]

Well don't watch it then.

Fúck me. Talk about a tough crowd.

Last night I tried to make pork balls. The porky centre was perfect but the batter just wasn't thick and bready enough.

I’ve succeeded with chicken balls in the past. Most recipes suggest too much baking powder and too thin a batter. It really needs to be as stodgy as fùck. Also, garlic powder in the batter.

How did you get the pork authentically gristly?

[SWv2]

If I’m watching Das Boot, I want popping rivets and pallid, sweaty, straggly-bearded krauts you can virtually smell shouting ‘ALARM!’ while being depth charged. I don’t want chicks getting in the way.

Surely your average distressed Kraut will shout "HIMMEL!!" and on occasion "ACHTUNG!!".


You must have standards.

[Sir C]

I’ve succeeded with chicken balls in the past. Most recipes suggest too much baking powder and too thin a batter. It really needs to be as stodgy as fùck. Also, garlic powder in the batter.

How did you get the pork authentically gristly?

I boiled it first, let it cool, the chopped it into gobbets.

[Burney]

Surely your average distressed Kraut will shout "HIMMEL!!" and on occasion "ACHTUNG!!".


You must have standards.

This was certainly what I was led to believe by the Commando and Victor comics I grew up with.

Whereas when shot, blown up or bayoneted, your Japanese will invariably say ‘Aieeeee!’

[Burney]

I boiled it first, let it cool, the chopped it into gobbets.

I’ve come to realise that all I actually want from Chinese food is Singapore noodles, chicken balls with red gloop and ribs with brown gloop. Pretty much everything else is just filler.