Your tastebuds have been so dulled by a lifetime of boiled meat and potatoes that they have lost the capacity to process the complex flavours of spice. All you experience is heat.
You'd be far happier at the buffet with wes, tbh. Perhaps you could put some ketchup on your heatlamp-curled pizza.
No. He just looks a bit grey and flabby. I'm not getting the smell of drink off him.
I hope you realise I'd be much more sympathetic if I thought someone had had a skinful? That is entirely understandable and in the natural course of things. I would understand his desperate need to take on calories if I thought he was suffering.
I think he's just a disgusting pig.
You have long admitted that your years of self-abuse* have rendered you largely incapable of tasting anything properly. Your olfactory senses are poor, enervated, spavined things. This is why you crave heat - it makes you feel like you're actually tasting something.
*And the coke, booze and fags didn't help, either.
I was introduced to it at a roadside stall in the middle of nowhere in Rwanda. My driver stopped the car and excitedly demanded that I tried the local speciality being sold at this stall. Ever a student of global cuisine I expectantly approached and was served - a baked potato.
In order to give the experience some level of authenticity, I took the proffered bottle of local chilli oil and applied it. Liberally.
Trust me. I don't think you'll be disappointed.