Off to do something stupid in a minute. After my violent food poisoning on Saturday

[Burney]

Good call.

This will be a classic liquid fart situation, so something akin to an MC Hammer style trouser would be ideal or perhaps a lycra rich drainpipe affair, in white.

Adult nappies could be the thing. Or shoving a tampon or two up his pipe.

[Burney]

No, they were sort of 50 year old suit trousers, foir he was a chap who lived in the back of an old Scammell truck parked behind the hangar on an airfield. Been there since the war, according to some.

Dead now, of course. Thank God.

They bred them differently back then. RIP upwards sh1tter..

[Sir C]

I'm not sure you're right. Short of declaring a major medical emergency and calling an ambulance, I don't think any effective social mechanisms exist to deal with the eventuality of a grown man simultaneously puking and sh1tting himself. There can only be the terrible moment when everyone realises what's happened followed by panic.

To be fair, if I was standing at a bar and lost control of my bodily functions so catastrophically that I simultaneously vomited and moved my bowels, I'd want someone to call a fúcking ambulance. I mean, those sort of symptoms warrant more than some Andrews liver salts and a lie down, down't they? This is a case of dysentery at best!

[AFC East]

Adult nappies could be the thing. Or shoving a tampon or two up his pipe.

I hope barrybueno is heeding this priceless advice.

[Sir C]

They bred them differently back then. RIP upwards sh1tter..

Ron Browne was his name. RIP mad old Ron.

Fúck me but he stank.

[Viva Prat Vegas]

What an appropriate name for the gravity-defying defacator

[Burney]

To be fair, if I was standing at a bar and lost control of my bodily functions so catastrophically that I simultaneously vomited and moved my bowels, I'd want someone to call a fúcking ambulance. I mean, those sort of symptoms warrant more than some Andrews liver salts and a lie down, down't they? This is a case of dysentery at best!

Yes. And even if they didn't, I'd go down and stay down feigning unconsciousness in that case just to avoid the social awkwardness involved in remaining upright and sentient.

[Burney]

Ron Browne was his name. RIP mad old Ron.

Fúck me but he stank.

RIP Foul Old Ron.

[Sir C]

RIP Foul Old Ron.

You'd see some flash lad loading his guests into his £300,000 mini-airliner to pop them to Le Touquest for lunch, all full of himself, and ol' Ron would wander along, covered in his own shiíte and hurling abuse at the demons who constantly surrounded him.. Magical days.

[Sir C]

What an appropriate name for the gravity-defying defacator

I'm not going to lie, s, I sort of miss the filthy old madman.