In Jorge's absence, I should make some sort of effort to step up to the plate. Just for a bit of sport.
Here's the thing: I just don't get it. I get that 74% of the population does, but I don't. We've spent 800 years clawing power off their ilk, and this morning I noticed a headline saying that the new Mrs Wossname is going to use her position to push feminism.
On what authority to these people think they can tell us what to do? By all means prance about in your silly outfits if people enjoy the show, but keep the eff out of politics, please.
I tend to agree. They really ought to stay the fvck out of politics - especially if they're going to start p1ssing about with identity politics, which can be nothing other than divisive.
Odd thing, though: some of the most progressive and liberal countries on earth are constitutional monarchies. The idea that such arrangements ingrain conservatism or entrench privilege is demonstrable nonsense.
I channel hopped into it at one point for about 5 seconds and the cameraman panned to my fave Dave Beckham. I mean 5 ****ing seconds! How many times must they have showed that cheesy grinning ****?
Anyway, went and threw up, came back and put The Simpsons on. Something a bit more realistic
'Seems that I was busy doing something close to nothing
But different than the day before'
'Met a dwarf that was no good, dressed like Little Red Riding Hood'
'Now you're unemployed, all non-void
Walkin' round like you're Pretty Boy Floyd'
I did try to watch but I switched on just as thon preacher man was bellowing questions at the congregation and found it so embarrassing I had to switch off.
The genius of our monarchy is how adeptly they can shape-shift to fit the zeitgeist and secure another fifty years of leeching rights.
I remain convinced that is woman this going to be a whole bunch of trouble for the firm. Let's hope so.