Originally Posted by Sir C
I'm sure you've told me of an occasion in a hotel in Oxford involving cocktail sausages and a bottle of whisky.
Jesus, man. I was having a breakdown brought on by watching mongs being taught to choir by Gareth. I defy anyone to resist the urge to strip naked and drink whisky under such provocation.
One cannot hold salad on the back of a fork, it doesn't work I'm afraid, it just falls off and what remains isn't enough to properly enjoy it. You might as well just stab every individual piece.You don't have to stab everything. You push the food onto the back of your fork and bring it to your mouth. I appreciate that such a technique may seem difficult to the less evolved, but such are the sacrifices one has to make in order to be civilised.
No, the choice is between enjoying your food or keeping up appearances while falling victim to pretence.
I choose the former.
Fair enough, but if you choose your own gross self-gratification over delicacy, consideration and politesse you cannot complain when people regard you as an uncouth colonial.One cannot hold salad on the back of a fork, it doesn't work I'm afraid, it just falls off and what remains isn't enough to properly enjoy it. You might as well just stab every individual piece.
No, the choice is between enjoying your food or keeping up appearances while falling victim to pretence.
I choose the former.
Were they hoping to take part in The Eurovision Mong Contest? Was it called 'A Mong For Europe'?
An opportunity missed by the programme makers there, imo.
I am not sure exactly what this action is. It kind of sounds like watching Steve Smith bat.right shovel technique has not entirely left me. It was the salad that required it. A finely chopped combination of lettuce, avocado, tomatoe, croutons and cucumber (with lashings of blue cheese dressing and a drizzle of hot sauce).
Stabbing every individual element was inefficient and unsatisfactory as it is optimal to have multiple elements in your mouth at one time. There was no way to place the salad on top of the chicken which I had stabbed with my left hand fork technique, so the only alternative was to shovel.
And as I am right handed, my right hand shovel technique is subtle and under-stated. I do have a left hand shovel technique as well but it pretty much involves me putting my left elbow in the ear of the person next to me.
All in all, it was the best way forward.
Too soon, p, too soon
Devon Malcolm would have sorted him out....
I think we ought to strike a deal whereby we will allow him to average 70-odd in this series with the runs distributed wherever Australia want them just as long as we don't have to watch him bat.
It's the only humane option. Not only is he an awful batsman to watch, he's got a face I'd never tire of caving in with a shovel.
Even a Flintoff might have made him jump around a bit. If only we had an all-rounder capable of bowling short, sharp fiery spells, ehDevon Malcolm would have sorted him out....
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