I think the whole 'rape isn't about sex' thing is a comforting lie we all tell ourselves so that we can distance the thing that we do with our wives and girlfriends (may they never meet) from what the rapist does. However, that ignores the fact that the rapist is just as motivated by lust and desire for sexual gratification (however that may be engendered) as we are when we 'make love'.
I attended a function and sat at a large round table with two women either side of me. They both began stroking my thigh beneath the table cloth, completely without provocation and independent of each other.
I recall being slightly drunk at the time but amidst the fog, my biggest problem was how to extricate myself from this little menage a trois and leave each of them feeling they could leave with both of their dignities intact.
:-/