Talking of celebratory dinner wrongness.....

[Burney]

I like to think I am a fairly tolerant person, b, but if can't have pigs in blankets what is the ****ing point of living

Well quite. Pork and booze are pretty fücking central to Christmas. Ham, ps-in-bs, bacon on the turkey, lard to cook the roast potatoes, sausage meat in the stuffing. And as for drink, you're basically drinking from breakfast time onwards - and that's without all the booze in the trifle, Christmas pudding, mince pies, etc.

Muslim Christmas would - and I can say this without fear of contradiction - be fùcking wánk.

[Luis Anaconda]

Well quite. Pork and booze are pretty fücking central to Christmas. Ham, ps-in-bs, bacon on the turkey, lard to cook the roast potatoes, sausage meat in the stuffing. And as for drink, you're basically drinking from breakfast time onwards - and that's without all the booze in the trifle, Christmas pudding, mince pies, etc.

Muslim Christmas would - and I can say this without fear of contradiction - be fùcking wánk.

Indeed. Christ I am hungry now though. Haven't had a proper roast for ages - last Christmas in fact. Alcohol not so much of a problem

[Sir C]

Indeed. Christ I am hungry now though. Haven't had a proper roast for ages - last Christmas in fact. Alcohol not so much of a problem

Surely you can buy a chicken there, la, or a rib of beef? And lard must be available, Christ on a bike there must be gallons of rendered pork fat produced in Munich every day.

[Burney]

Surely you can buy a chicken there, la, or a rib of beef? And lard must be available, Christ on a bike there must be gallons of rendered pork fat produced in Munich every day.

Rostbraten happens there, surely?

[Sir C]

Rostbraten happens there, surely?

Yes, but it's a bit foreign, isn't it? It's not a decent English roast.

[Burney]

Yes, but it's a bit foreign, isn't it? It's not a decent English roast.

No. The Germans also have a very unfortunate habit of sometimes simply presenting one with a huge and frankly off-putting lump of mea, which is antithetical to the roast.

[Sir C]

No. The Germans also have a very unfortunate habit of sometimes simply presenting one with a huge and frankly off-putting lump of mea, which is antithetical to the roast.

You find the Schweinshaxe 'off-putting'? It's nothing to do with a roast, granted, but it is a magnificent other thing entirely.

Indeed, a 'haxe with sauerkraut and Kartoffelsalat might be one of the finest lunches available in mainland Europe.

[Luis Anaconda]

Surely you can buy a chicken there, la, or a rib of beef? And lard must be available, Christ on a bike there must be gallons of rendered pork fat produced in Munich every day.

But I would have to fly my mother or one of my sisters over to cook it. That's the complicated bit

[Sir C]

But I would have to fly my mother or one of my sisters over to cook it. That's the complicated bit

I am sure that a renaissance man such as yourself is well capable of knocking up a roast dinner, la.

[Pokster]

But I would have to fly my mother or one of my sisters over to cook it. That's the complicated bit

And your mum's quite busy being roasted herself