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Thread: I just saw two tiny children running along the pavement, all alone.

  1. #1

    I just saw two tiny children running along the pavement, all alone.

    Clearly far too young to be unattended. Escapees, I imagined. It occurred to me as I stopped the car that I would probably be arrested for *****fiddling, but went ahead and stopped them anyway, at which point a larger lady wobbled up, panting, and thanked me profusely.

    She's still going to report me for Harrising, isn't she? Fat child-losing cow.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Clearly far too young to be unattended. Escapees, I imagined. It occurred to me as I stopped the car that I would probably be arrested for *****fiddling, but went ahead and stopped them anyway, at which point a larger lady wobbled up, panting, and thanked me profusely.

    She's still going to report me for Harrising, isn't she? Fat child-losing cow.
    Pardon?

    ..

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by SWv2 View Post
    Pardon?

    ..
    Rolf. A famous British/Australian fiddler.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Rolf. A famous British/Australian fiddler.
    Was he not innocent?

    I can't keep up with all these cases anymore. Or was it Cliff Richard.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by SWv2 View Post
    Was he not innocent?

    I can't keep up with all these cases anymore. Or was it Cliff Richard.
    He was innocent, but only of the Bostons stranglings.

    Cliff, on the other hand, was as pure as the driven snow.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Clearly far too young to be unattended. Escapees, I imagined. It occurred to me as I stopped the car that I would probably be arrested for *****fiddling, but went ahead and stopped them anyway, at which point a larger lady wobbled up, panting, and thanked me profusely.

    She's still going to report me for Harrising, isn't she? Fat child-losing cow.
    She will certainly have reported the incident but I imagine it will proceed as a civil suit for damages. The police are unlikely to want to pursue it without evidence, although naturally you will have to attend for interview. Answer no comment to every question- on no account say anything else.

    THen lawyer up and hope for the best. It might be worth coming out as gay or disabled (ideally both) in the meantime. It can only help.

    Good luck!

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    Clearly far too young to be unattended. Escapees, I imagined. It occurred to me as I stopped the car that I would probably be arrested for *****fiddling, but went ahead and stopped them anyway, at which point a larger lady wobbled up, panting, and thanked me profusely.

    She's still going to report me for Harrising, isn't she? Fat child-losing cow.
    I think you're OK as long as you on no account touched them, at which point it would be Nonce O'Clock.

    I've never considered that aspect of morbid obesity - that one is too fat to be able to catch one's children if they run away.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Peter View Post
    She will certainly have reported the incident but I imagine it will proceed as a civil suit for damages. The police are unlikely to want to pursue it without evidence, although naturally you will have to attend for interview. Answer no comment to every question- on no account say anything else.

    THen lawyer up and hope for the best. It might be worth coming out as gay or disabled (ideally both) in the meantime. It can only help.

    Good luck!
    Wait, what if I agree to a series of public self-denunciations and self-criticisms, do you think I might be spared the re-education camp?

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Burney View Post
    I think you're OK as long as you on no account touched them, at which point it would be Nonce O'Clock.

    I've never considered that aspect of morbid obesity - that one is too fat to be able to catch one's children if they run away.
    They were escapees from Nexus, for Christ's sake. The fat cow was a chasing staff member.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir C View Post
    They were escapees from Nexus, for Christ's sake. The fat cow was a chasing staff member.
    That would be the same Nexus to which I used to entrust the safety of my daughter at not inconsiderable expense?

    There isn't even a proper pavement there, is there?

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