So it turns out that eating raw fish might not have been such a good idea after all

[Sir C]

My beef leaves no juices in the tin
All I find are burnt shallots
Even the fat ****s off

The red jelly is redcurrant Sorry
If I wish to jazz the gravy up I add a sprig of thyme and pepper

You're cooking that, God help us, 'topside' of beef, aren't you?

For shame, v. Get yourself a four rib forerib and roast the fúcker for an hour. You'll have juice and fat, alright.