Your attitude to the membrum virile is absolute proof that you are in the closet, old son.
Accept that you're fascinated by the cock and yearn to be filled with a throbber, and you will feel altogether better.
To be fair c I think it is only yours he's obsessed by. I recall him waxing lyrical one time about the the diluvian manliness of your píss stream and describing, in somewhat lurid detail, the smoothness of your glans*