Surely if you stand for Parliament and are elected you should be forced to serve the

[Luis Anaconda]

whole term, unless exceptional circumstances (i.e. death) prevent you from doing so? In short, how much of a Tristram Hunt do you have to be just to quit because a better offer comes along?

[Burney]

whole term, unless exceptional circumstances (i.e. death) prevent you from doing so? In short, how much of a Tristram Hunt do you have to be just to quit because a better offer comes along?

His proudest day as an MP came when Stoke got its first Pizza Express. That's right, the introduction of the first restaurant in Stoke that had a menu with words on it was his greatest achievement.

Didn't he used to shag Monty's missus, by the way?

[Luis Anaconda]

His proudest day as an MP came when Stoke got its first Pizza Express. That's right, the introduction of the first restaurant in Stoke that had a menu with words on it was his greatest achievement.

Didn't he used to shag Monty's missus, by the way?

I saw that tweet earlier. Quite brilliant. Though quite how the inhabitants of Stoke coped with such an advance form of food, I shudder to think.

I have no idea about Monty's wife's past lovers. His mum on the other hand ...

[Ash]

whole term, unless exceptional circumstances (i.e. death) prevent you from doing so? In short, how much of a Tristram Hunt do you have to be just to quit because a better offer comes along?

Contracts are worth nothing these days, it seems. Though he was playing for Stoke, so mitigating circumstances I suppose.

[Burney]

I saw that tweet earlier. Quite brilliant. Though quite how the inhabitants of Stoke coped with such an advance form of food, I shudder to think.

I have no idea about Monty's wife's past lovers. His mum on the other hand ...

They were probably very confused by the presence of knives and forks and angrily smashed the place up. They then probably half-heartedly 'apologised' via the papers and then were outraged when Pizza Express didn't accept the apology. Doubtless they now boo the restaurant every time they walk past it and call its staff cünts.

I could be wrong about Monty's lady, of course. It might just be a dream I had.

[Luis Anaconda]

Contracts are worth nothing these days, it seems. Though he was playing for Stoke, so mitigating circumstances I suppose.

True. It seems we are to find out whether Paul Nuttall can do it on a wet Thursday afternoon in Stoke

[Burney]

True. It seems we are to find out whether Paul Nuttall can do it on a wet Thursday afternoon in Stoke

Labour will probably still squeak it. Tories and UKIP will cancel out a lot of each others' vote, while the Lib Dems will get a chunk of Labour, but possibly not that much.

Corbyn will then describe this as a ringing endorsement of his leadership.

[Luis Anaconda]

Labour will probably still squeak it. Tories and UKIP will cancel out a lot of each others' vote, while the Lib Dems will get a chunk of Labour, but possibly not that much.

Corbyn will then describe this as a ringing endorsement of his leadership.

I would guess so - 5,000 majority and at least the labour candidate won't have to pretend that his party wants to stay in Europe this time

[World's End Stella]

True. It seems we are to find out whether Paul Nuttall can do it on a wet Thursday afternoon in Stoke

I made your mum wet on a Thursday afternoon in Stoke*

*for the record, my first ever 'your mum' joke, be gentle

[Ash]

I made your mum wet on a Thursday afternoon in Stoke*

*for the record, my first ever 'your mum' joke, be gentle

The second 'your mum' virginity loss today.

I dunno. Graham Taylor dies and all remaining morality and decency collapses.