Not sure that'll help, to be honest. The entertainment business is only interested in drunk, stoned, weak, young people, I reckon. They are easier to "manage".
Of course, that may all change now that everyone has woken up to the con.
"Plenty of strikers can score goals," he said, gesturing to the famous old stands casting shadows around us.
"But a lot have found it difficult wearing the number 9 shirt for The Arsenal."