It's all elegance; he truly does float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. The trouble is, he's no Bergkamp or Fabregas. (Few are, of course.) He's not going to win you games just because he's decided what the outcome of the game is going to be. He's never going to control a football match.

The only players in this squad who really excite me are Ozil, Wilshere and Ramsey, and none of them is of the highest quality.

It's time to admit it. We have achieved mediocrity. Come on in, the water's lovely and tepid.