For the record, then: I hate the intense little blonde tart with the tattooed on eyebrows - although Marcus Wareing clearly wants to fück her and will therefore let her away with murder. I also hate the private chef with the beard who likes to cook with kale and is clearly enamoured of all this Scandi cooking sh�*te. I want him to fall into his own sous vide machine and drown.

Beyond that, I don't care who wins.