Twice in the space of a few days I have watched the first half

[Monty92]

I find City incredibly offensive for having utterly destroyed football by buying it. I know Abramovich started it, but City have just been utterly ridiculous.

Errr, mate, we just bought the new Glenn Helder for about £100 million pounds

[Sir C]

Errr, mate, we just bought the new Glenn Helder for about £100 million pounds

Yes. With money we have generated. Given that every club in the league, from Manchester United to Lincoln City, has the opportunity to generate exactly the same amount of money, this is by definition a level playing field.

But you know that. You just want to poke your big, mischievous nose in, you naughty boy.

[Monty92]

Yes. With money we have generated. Given that every club in the league, from Manchester United to Lincoln City, has the opportunity to generate exactly the same amount of money, this is by definition a level playing field.

But you know that. You just want to poke your big, mischievous nose in, you naughty boy.

Yes and I'm sure fans of Huddersfield Town are impressed by our self-sustainable model and parsimonious transfer activity.

You know what you f*cking need? A lesson in white privilege, mate.

[Sir C]

Yes and I'm sure fans of Huddersfield Town are impressed by our self-sustainable model and parsimonious transfer activity.

You know what you f*cking need? A lesson in white privilege, mate.

I'm the one being oppressed by the Zionist Rothschild banking konspiracy. Don't talk to me about 'privilege' when you people run the media, the arts, the banks and government.

[Burney]

Errr, mate, we just bought the new Glenn Helder for about £100 million pounds

As far as I can make out, we haven't so much bought his as taken out a mortgage for him.

[Monty92]

As far as I can make out, we haven't so much bought his as taken out a mortgage for him.

That's fine. I, too, would bet my mortgage on him being an abortion of a signing.

[Burney]

That's fine. I, too, would bet my mortgage on him being an abortion of a signing.

I didn't like the way he came on the other day and just fúcking minced about like a big gay baby.

I expect a record signing to appear and immediately impose himself. Anything else is abject failure.

[Sir C]

I didn't like the way he came on the other day and just fúcking minced about like a big gay baby.

I expect a record signing to appear and immediately impose himself. Anything else is abject failure.

Is there some stickball on to enrage you today?

If you tell your doctor what the crickets do to your mental state I bet he'd prescribe you some valium.

[Burney]

Is there some stickball on to enrage you today?

If you tell your doctor what the crickets do to your mental state I bet he'd prescribe you some valium.

There is. In fact, I'm supposed to be going on Saturday, but it may well rain, in which case we shall go and have a nice lunch somewhere.

I have no need of valium. I'm high on life.

[Sir C]

There is. In fact, I'm supposed to be going on Saturday, but it may well rain, in which case we shall go and have a nice lunch somewhere.

I have no need of valium. I'm high on life.

On Saturday I feast.

Today I find I have lost half a stone in 3 weeks. The dieting therefore ends in 48 hours.

I have ordered a kilo of ribeye and 200 grams of beef fat from the butcher. I shall use this to make cheeseburgers. These cheeseburgers will be served with chips.

Cheeseburgers. With chips.