Good Lord! They're going to put that toilet trader Turing on the £50 note!

[Ash]

To be fair, I think he was pardoned a while back. Wrongly, in my opinion. The law of the day is the law. You can't just overlook that because a chap's good at maths.

There was a war on, you know. All hands to the pump, as it were.

[Burney]

There was a war on, you know. All hands to the pump, as it were.

Not when he was caught toilet trading there wasn't. Naturally one could turn a blind eye to these things in extremis, but not in perpetuity. No, I've no sympathy. Chemical castration was too good for him.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Not when he was caught toilet trading there wasn't. Naturally one could turn a blind eye to these things in extremis, but not in perpetuity. No, I've no sympathy. Chemical castration was too good for him.

breathtaking genius is a common misconception. It was nothing more than a mechanical contraption he designed for the purpose of plunging a large wooden phallus into his bowels, leaving both hands free to tinker with his abacus.

[Burney]

breathtaking genius is a common misconception. It was nothing more than a mechanical contraption he designed for the purpose of plunging a large wooden phallus into his bowels, leaving both hands free to tinker with his abacus.

Gosh.I'm happy to bow to your superior knowledge on this one, h. Given what you say, I shudder to contemplate what the 'Turing Test' of which one hears so much entails. Vile bum perversions, no doubt.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Gosh.I'm happy to bow to your superior knowledge on this one, h. Given what you say, I shudder to contemplate what the 'Turing Test' of which one hears so much entails. Vile bum perversions, no doubt.

If one wanted to join his team of number crunchers* one would simply be subjected, via his ungodly contraption, to a succession of phalli of increasing girth until one cried out for mercy at which point he would make his decision.

*a coded reference to anyone prepared to fellate the deplorable old deviant.