I see there's one of those 'The Universe is Really Big' videos doing the rounds on

[Luis Anaconda]

social media.

Naturally, this is accompanied by thousands of slack-jawed fúckwits going 'Wow!' and prating about how it 'really puts things into perspective'.

Does it fúck. I just find the Universe annoying. What's the point in me knowing it's really fúcking big? Most of it's empty and I'm never going to go there anyway. Besides, we're basically all still píssing about in our own Solar System, which is the equivalent of trying to understand the Pacific by paddling in a rockpool. How utterly fúcking pointless it all seems. The only thing the Universe is ever going to do for us is destroy us one of these millennia. It can fúck off.

So frankly, if it's all the same to you, I would prefer to go about my life pretending it matters and never give any thought to the fúcking Universe because it's a **** and only ****s care about it imo. Bóllocks to it.

This is how I feel about the US. Sorry Chief is you are lurking

[Burney]

This is how I feel about the US. Sorry Chief is you are lurking

But at least you can actually go to the States if you want. You can't go to Alpha Centauri, so what's the point in knowing about it?

[Sir C]

But at least you can actually go to the States if you want. You can't go to Alpha Centauri, so what's the point in knowing about it?

You can't if you've made a vow not to.

Ha!

[Burney]

You can't if you've made a vow not to.

Ha!

Your vow is silly.

There. I've said it.

[Sir C]

Your vow is silly.

There. I've said it.

Why? Your argument is unconvincing so far.

[Burney]

Why? Your argument is unconvincing so far.

Because it was clearly made in a fit of pique. And forswearing a massive country of 300 million people because you were roughly handled by immigration officials is just a teensy bit silly.

And, of course, it's silly because you'd obviously break your vow if the necessity arose.

[Sir C]

Because it was clearly made in a fit of pique. And forswearing a massive country of 300 million people because you were roughly handled by immigration officials is just a teensy bit silly.

And, of course, it's silly because you'd obviously break your vow if the necessity arose.

1. It was most certainly not a fit of pique.
2. It was only partially the immigration incident. The straw that broke the proverbial was being ina bar showing the local college football game on TV. Grown men whooping and high-fiving about a school gay rugby match. And the fúcking Blue Angels did a flyby. Wánkers.
3. If, by necessity, you refer to the exigences of business, certainly I would. Of what use are vows, honour, pride or dignity in business?

[Pokster]

But at least you can actually go to the States if you want. You can't go to Alpha Centauri, so what's the point in knowing about it?

Tony C Can't #jailbird