For my birthday treat I am allowed to have dinner at any restaurant in London.

[Norn Iron]

Looks foreign. Where's the spuds?

[Sir C]

Looks foreign. Where's the spuds?

Imagine a kebab. Now imagine the best kebab you've ever eaten. Now imagine the best kebab you've ever eaten, eaten by Dennis Bergkamp and shat onto your plate.

That's what we're talking about here norn.

[Herbert Augustus Chapman]

Imagine a kebab. Now imagine the best kebab you've ever eaten. Now imagine the best kebab you've ever eaten, eaten by Dennis Bergkamp and shat onto your plate.

That's what we're talking about here norn.

While Wenger pisses into his very eyeballs

[Sir C]

While Wenger pisses into his very eyeballs

You have to make it vulgar, don't you?

[Burney]

You have to make it vulgar, don't you?

You know what's shít, though? Kibbeh, that's what.

Never allow yourself to be fobbed off with kibbeh.

[Sir C]

You know what's shít, though? Kibbeh, that's what.

Never allow yourself to be fobbed off with kibbeh.

Kibbeh can fúck off and it can take labneh with it.

[Burney]

Kibbeh can fúck off and it can take labneh with it.

I hate it when you order a dish in a Turkish or Middle-Eastern restaurant and they've just smothered the whole fùcking thing in yoghurt.