Very likely to overtake Spurs after the next round of PL fixtures

[WES]

On the cusp of European glory

About to move to an area with absolutely no coloureds

Life is good

The only negative is that Arsenal Football Club currently employ a player who thinks putting on a superhero mask after scoring a goal is in any way amusing

Where are you moving to Monty?

Hard for me to believe there are any parts of this fair land where what you describe is true. Even in my bucolic little Surrey village there's an ethnic minority. Mind you, I heard some of the locals referring to the 'village prostitute' a few years back only to discover they were referring to a young woman of colour whom they had observed standing on the side of the road.

At the bus stop.

[Burney]

Where are you moving to Monty?

Hard for me to believe there are any parts of this fair land where what you describe is true. Even in my bucolic little Surrey village there's an ethnic minority. Mind you, I heard some of the locals referring to the 'village prostitute' a few years back only to discover they were referring to a young woman of colour whom they had observed standing on the side of the road.

At the bus stop.

Who else is going to run the curry shop, the kebab shop and the Chinky?

[WES]

Who else is going to run the curry shop, the kebab shop and the Chinky?

You over-estimate the size of my village, Burney.

I'd kill for one or all of those in walking distance. One shop, one village hall, one cricket green, one church and two pubs. That's it.

[Burney]

You over-estimate the size of my village, Burney.

I'd kill for one or all of those in walking distance. One shop, one village hall, one cricket green, one church and two pubs. That's it.

When I used to work in Mayfield in East Sussex, there wasn't a chip shop, there was a mobile chip van that came round once a week. It was a big event.

[WES]

When I used to work in Mayfield in East Sussex, there wasn't a chip shop, there was a mobile chip van that came round once a week. It was a big event.

That will be tonight in Shamley Green.

And yes, it sure does get the locals out for a special 'treat'.