I have just received an email from someone whose job title is 'Outreach Warrior'.

[Burney]

I was having a blood test this morning and it struck me how medieval medicine still is. Needles and knives, hammers and drills, great bags full of blood andtubes being thrust up the winkle. Consider how in Star Trek, Bones had a scanner that went 'wooowoowoo' and told him what the problem was, which problem was then fixed by waving another woowooing device over it. That's what we were led to expect from the 21st century, not useless antibiotics and recycled cardboard vomit bowls.

Yes. The trouble is we're still a big bag of blood and goo and wobbly bits at the end of the day. Dealing with that is always going to seem a bit medieval.

What is the situation, then? Was this a cancer test?

[Sir C]

Yes. The trouble is we're still a big bag of blood and goo and wobbly bits at the end of the day. Dealing with that is always going to seem a bit medieval.

What is the situation, then? Was this a cancer test?

No, just a pre-op check. Tomorrow they bore new holes up my hooter and I guess they'll peer at the lumps they remove through a microscope and decide whether v will be getting a rebate on the council tax.

[Burney]

No, just a pre-op check. Tomorrow they bore new holes up my hooter and I guess they'll peer at the lumps they remove through a microscope and decide whether v will be getting a rebate on the council tax.

Hmmm. And how are you feeling about all this?

[Sir C]

Hmmm. And how are you feeling about all this?

I'm hoping that 1/ I'm not facing a few days of dreadful pain and 2/ my growths prove to be benign. I'm not really feeling very much at present. A trifle trepidatious, I suppose? As the wise man once said, que sera, sera.

[Burney]

I'm hoping that 1/ I'm not facing a few days of dreadful pain and 2/ my growths prove to be benign. I'm not really feeling very much at present. A trifle trepidatious, I suppose? As the wise man once said, que sera, sera.

There'll probably be a bit of pain, but I'm sure they'll give you some top quality painkillers for that, so that's all good.

On the second, as you say, it's in the lap of the gods, so in one sense no point fretting. However, their lack of urgency would suggest to me that they're not that worried.

Anyway, all the very best with it.

[Sir C]

There'll probably be a bit of pain, but I'm sure they'll give you some top quality painkillers for that, so that's all good.

On the second, as you say, it's in the lap of the gods, so in one sense no point fretting. However, their lack of urgency would suggest to me that they're not that worried.

Anyway, all the very best with it.

ty b. My sister-in-law who is a nurse has recommended Tramadol as a good one they would be inclined to prescribe as long as I consistently claim to be experiencing 10 on the pain scale. She suggests Fentanyl if I fancy aiming high, but is less sure I'll get it.

It's important to choose one's drugs carefully, don't you think?

[Burney]

ty b. My sister-in-law who is a nurse has recommended Tramadol as a good one they would be inclined to prescribe as long as I consistently claim to be experiencing 10 on the pain scale. She suggests Fentanyl if I fancy aiming high, but is less sure I'll get it.

It's important to choose one's drugs carefully, don't you think?

Absolutely. If all else fails, could you not call your chum in Primrose Hill?

[SWv2]

I'm hoping that 1/ I'm not facing a few days of dreadful pain and 2/ my growths prove to be benign. I'm not really feeling very much at present. A trifle trepidatious, I suppose? As the wise man once said, que sera, sera.

I shall stop off at the small church off Grafton Street tomorrow, light a candle and say a prayer for you.

[Sir C]

I shall stop off at the small church off Grafton Street tomorrow, light a candle and say a prayer for you.

That's awfully kind of you sw. I'm a little choked up now.

[SWv2]

That's awfully kind of you sw. I'm a little choked up now.

Being choked up could be the least of your worries tomorrow pal.